Relativity
by lindencovenant
Summary: Two aunts come to Schooner Bay, each bringing with her a whole different set of problems.
1. You Live with a WHAT?

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

**THIS _IS A GAMM STORY TAKING PLACE IN THE FROM THIS DAY ON UNIVERSE CREATED BY AMANDAFAYE, AMANDAWRITES, AND TABITHA12. Consider it EXPANDED UNIVERSE WITH MORE CHARACTERS AND FURTHER DEVOLPEMENTS TO BELOVED CANONICAL ONES._**

**ALL CANON CHARACTERS SUCH AS CAROLYN, DANIEL, CANDY, JONATHAN, & MARTHA AND ED ARE THE PROPERTY OF THE ORIGINAL OWNERS. THE REST ARE MINE, THOUGH THEY ARE NAMED IN HONOR OF MORE FAMOUS CHARACTERS IN SOME CASES.**

**NO INFRINGEMENT IS MEANT BY EVEN ONE WORD.**

**ANYONE WHO REALLY WANTS AUNT DOTTY CAN HAVE HER. SOME OF THE EVENTS DESCRIBED IN HER SECTION ARE BASED ON TRUTH. ALTHOUGH IN THE FIRST HALF OF THIS STORY, THE NON-CANON CHARACTERS TAKE CENTER STAGE. THIS IS AN EXPANDED UNIVERSE, AND HAS MORE PEOPLE SHARING SPACE WITH THE GAMM CHARACTERS FROM TV. THEIR LIVES IMPACT THOSE OF THE MUIRS AND GREGGS, AND VICE VERSA.**

**This disclaimer applies to all chapters. **

**1-You Live With a What?**

She'd have to ask Blackwood's forgiveness later, Dr. Lynne Avery decided as she called her antiquated car every name in the book, and invented a few for good measure. It was dead. Beyond help. Normally, that would only be a minor inconvenience. Today, it was not. She was due in Keystone in ninety minutes to get her sister from the airport.

Well, this wasn't getting that done. Disgusted, she gave up and went inside to call her nephew. "Blackwood. My car needs last rites and someone needs to get your Aunt Jess from the airport. So, you are always talking about election — and you are, elected, that is."

"Election does not have a thing to do with cars, my dearest aunt. And Aunt Jess will have to wait. I have a funeral in forty-five minutes. If you'd called five minutes from now, you'd have gotten the answering machine. Call Thom."

"Thom is at work."

"So am I. Try Candy then. She has a very understanding boss."

Sighing, Linden hung up and tried Gull Cottage. It didn't make sense to call someone in Skeldale to pick up someone in Keystone and bring them to Schooner Bay, unless all other resorts were exhausted. No one was home. Dave was likely at work, Jenny was only days away from delivery, so did not need to be driving. The idea of Tristan driving... no... Therefore, calling the Farnon's was out of the question. Martha? No, it was her day at Gull Cottage, so if she was out, then she wasn't available.

The doctor shook her head to clear it. She'd have to call her daughter-in-law.

Candy's boss answered the phone.

"Where's Candy?" Lynne asked, not having time for pleasantry.

"I sent her to the courthouse to file some papers... she should be back in about an hour," Adam replied, holding the phone away from his ear when the doctor blasted a bit loudly. "Can I help?"

"My car is dead, and my sister's plane is landing in a bit over an hour in Keystone... there is no way I can get there in time unless I turn into a ghost."

"So, you hoped Candy could handle the picking up part. Would I suffice?"

"I wasn't hinting..."

"No, you weren't, but I did offer, and really, the boss leaving causes fewer disruptions than the secretary. So, would I do?"

"If you wouldn't mind..."

"Just tell me who to look for."

"She's tall, light brunette, green eyes, about ten years younger than me... I don't know how she wears her hair these days... her name is Jessamyn Thomas."

"Jessamyn?" Adam asked as he fished his keys out of the drawer.

"You know how Tristan's parents were into myths? Mine were into horticulture. Therefore, I'm Linden, she's Jessamyn and our oldest sister, and Blackwood's mother goes by her middle name, Susan, since her first name is intolerable to her. _Calantha, _after the flower that Dad planted in honor of her birth."

"Let me guess, grandpa named her son?" Adam asked.

"Right."

"Okay. Well, I'll bring Jessamyn to your place? Have you taken care of Sig?"

"Uh — he, and all the ghosts are to either be invisible or appear human around her... he's moved into the stables. I think he wanted to anyway, and this gave him an excuse. I hated kicking him out, but the thought of our oldest sister finding out I'm even WITH a ghost, er — shacking up? No. And I don't think we're planning on telling her — unless — Sig falls for her."

"For her? Not — ah — you?" Adam really should leave, but he was curious.

"Adam, you are going to be late. Jess is not noted for patience. She's supposed to be on Flight 539, Gate H8."

"Right. See you."

As Adam began scrawling a note to Candy to let her know where he was, the phone rang. "Pierce."

"Margaret Sharpe here. I was wondering..."

"Who?" Adam snapped. He really needed to get on the road. He should not have answered the phone, just let the machine get it.

"Margaret Coburn. I wanted to see if..."

"Is this a legal matter?"

"Why, I..."

"Yes or no?"

"Not strictly, no."

"Well, I'm running late. So it will have to wait." On that, he hung up.

Before it could ring again, he almost ran outside to the waiting jeep. Blast, he'd meant to clean it out last weekend. Maybe Jessamyn traveled lightly? Frowning, he tossed books into the back, shoved the tape case under the seat, located his tennis shoes that had been missing for three days and carefully stowed the drumstick case under his seat. On a second thought, he fished out a tape and jammed it into the player. A moment later, a shrieking "wang" told him that the thing was jammed, tangled and hopelessly snarled. Blast it. No time to extricate it, so he resigned himself to silence and set off, hoping that traffic was favorable.

Traffic might have been favorable, if it weren't for roadwork. The road had been fine last week, why'd they have to go tearing it up now? A detour put him off his time fifteen minutes, just by existing. Then, another five minutes passed while he re-oriented himself to the route. Thunder rumbled, and it didn't sound like an angry ghost. It sounded like real thunder. He had fixed the canvas roof, he hoped. Yes. He had. For a cloudy day it was glarey. Reaching up, he groped for his shades that were supposed to be behind the visor. They half were. One lens had popped out.

This day was not a good one.

Finally, he was at the airfield. That parking was a nightmare was a given. College students and businessmen made the walking twice as congested as the driving. Adam thanked his ancestors that gave him genes for tallness, allowing him a line of sight that could view the various and sundry signs marking his path, until the same signs told him he'd entered at the wrong end of the airport and now had to travel the entire length to the other end to find Miss Thomas' arrival point. He did manage to locate a large poster-ish blank paper on which he could write JESSAMYN THOMAS. Green eyed, tall light brunettes were not as rare as a rule. He didn't fancy going up to every young woman and saying, "are you Jess Thomas?" She could be not a brunette by now. Women did dye their hair, after all, and if he was remembering correctly, he'd never met her. Why she hadn't been at the wedding, oh, it was about a year ago (note to self, get an anniversary present) was at least one thing he could use to make polite conversation.

By the time he reached the gate Linden had instructed him to be at, twenty minutes ago, now Adam was feeling stupid, hauling around a large sign with bright green letters on it, in search of a stranger. Discovering that the plane had landed not at H8 but at A9, the gate he had been closest to nineteen minutes ago was just delightful.

Trudging back through the madding or was it maddening crowd, Adam wondered if Jenny had had the baby yet. If it had graduated from college yet. If a search party wouldn't be dispatched to find him any time soon. He'd been their a hundred years surely. Maybe he was a ghost now.

He concentrated. No. No thunder, no pop. He was still alive.

Lost in thought, he peered around the crowds, not seeing anyone who even remotely looked like Linden, Thom, or Blackwood. Of course, not all families looked as much like each other as Carolyn did to her two children. Just look at Jenny... she looked nothing like her cousins, and the Matthews brothers didn't look much alike. For that matter, Blackie didn't look much like Thom.

Shaking his head, Adam refocused his straying thoughts. Maybe he should just see about having her paged. It beat wandering around like an idiot. As he turned toward the desk, unfortunately the one with a ten-mile long line, he felt a tug on his jacket sleeve.

"I think you're looking for me?" an uncertain voice said as he changed course. "Jessamyn Thomas — are you a friend of Lynne's?"

Nodding in relief, Adam extended his free hand, the wrong one to shake, but the right one had a sign in it. "Adam Pierce. We'll grab your luggage and — no point trying to talk in this racket."

Half an hour later, hauling five suitcases, a gym bag, and a purse that could hold who only knows what, the two of them trudged toward Adam's jeep. "Think you brought enough?" he asked, hitching one of the bags into a more tenable position.

"Well, I'm kind of moving here, so it seemed logical to bring everything," Jess snapped.

Biting back a comparison of how much easier it had been to move Jenny, since he couldn't mention that they'd had ghostly assistance, Adam merely noted, "Yeah. I guess. No furniture?"

"I rented a furnished apartment in Houston, so no. My books are arriving UPS next week."

Adam stopped. "Where the heck did I park?"

"I should know this how?" Jessamyn asked, setting her cases down to plant her hands on her hips.

Blast, he'd gotten lazy. In recent years, Adam had been accompanied by a ghost or two when on mega parking lots. One of them kept track of this garbage.

"Let's see, I came in by the opposite gate to where I found — no the opposite of where I was supposed to be but you weren't, and wound up going back to where I came in so it should be..." The attorney mused aloud, turning in a circle. Finally, he spotted his battered canvas top two rows over. "There."

When they reached the jeep, Jess looked at it leerily. "Uh, great."

"What?"

"I hate jeeps. And I don't think all this will fit."

"Of course it will. We'll just strap you to the top or the back tire," Adam sighed.

"Funny."

Despite the misgivings, everything managed to squeeze inside the back seat, once things were shifted a bit and Jess agreed to hold the smallest bag on her lap and put the gym bag under her feet.

"This day just gets better and better," she groused, trying to find a comfortable position. "I'm squished on the plane, and now here. A jerk hits on me for five hundred miles, at least. The in-flight movie was some comedy that wasn't funny, _Used Cars_. Just gross. The lunch was something I wouldn't serve to a fifth grade class of starving boys who'll eat anything... I waited in the airport for..."

"Hold on!" Adam snapped. "You think YOU have had a bad day? Let me tell you about bad days. One, **your** sister calls me out of the blue to pick you up from Keystone while I live in Skeldale, and take you to Schooner Bay. Two, my tape deck ate my favorite tape. Three, it looks stormy and I think there might be a hole in my ceiling. Four, your plane landed at the wrong gate. Five, five was actually four, the land shark tried to bite me. Six..."

"Did you get scared by Sesame Street as a child?" Jess asked matter-of-factly.

"What?" Adam blinked.

"The counting."

"I was an adult when Sesame Street debuted," he said mildly.

"Okay, you OD'd on Tolkien."

He considered asking her to clarify, then decided to ask Jenny or Dave. "I like order."

"Really?" Jess glanced at the backseat, which had been cluttered **before **her things landed in it.

"My version of it."

"Which the rest of us call chaos."

"Jessamyn…" he began.

"Jess. I hate my name."

He considered calling her Jessamyn on that principle alone, then amended his statement. "Well, it could be worse. I understand Tristan's dad named his youngest sibling Ultan."

"I hope that wasn't a girl. Who is Tristan? Other than the ill-fated knight who had the hots for his uncle's wife after taking a love potion?"

Since saying the "ill-fated ghost who has the hots for your niece-in-law without a potion" seemed an unwise answer, Adam shrugged. "A friend. You'll meet him if you stay long." He smiled. That could be fun. Tristan had such a creative bent. Yes. This might be just the thing to cheer up the poor kid.

"What?" she asked, seeing the tiny smile playing dangerously at the edge of his mouth.

"Hmm? Oh, nothing."

_"Riiight._ So, are you another doctor?" Jess asked, fidgeting to try and get her knees farther from her ear lobes. At least it felt like her knees and ears were smashed together.

"Lawyer. And yes, I know what the Bard said about lawyers and heard the one about a group of useless men being a law firm."

"1776," she promptly returned.

"Yeah," he grudgingly allowed. "Where were you about a year ago when Candy married Thom?"

"Making goose and seal noises against my will."

"That's a unique form of torture. Was tequila involved?"

"No. Benadryl and Sudafed. I had a sinus infection with fever, coughing, and congestion. Somehow, I didn't think showing up was a good plan."

Adam shrugged, not having anything witty to say in response. For the remainder of the trip, he answered a few questions about Jess' sister and nephews. When Linden's office came into view, both mentally breathed sighs of relief.

The doctor was out the door almost before the jeep stopped. After hugging her sister, she very deliberately said, "Let me give you a hand, Adam," and moved over to help him grab a bag or two. Under her breath, Lynne said, "I was about to send Sig out looking for you."

"Usual traffic, airport, etcetera nightmares," he returned in the same tone. "But hold that thought."

"Sorry," Lynne whispered. "Too perky?"

"Ha."

They had to shut up then as Jessamyn joined them to hoist some of her luggage. "I don't expect you to wait on me, Sis."

"We just wanted to talk about you behind your back," Adam smiled thinly. "Need anything else, Lynne? I could look at your car?"

"No need. I got Ed to tow it to the garage. Battery needs replacing. It'll be back by morning. If you want to stay, Blackwood's coming over to take us to Norrie's."

"I'll pass. Long drive back, and I should go over the research Candy was going to do this afternoon." He started to get back in the jeep, the paused. "Any word on the new person?"

"I'm sure you'll be an honorary uncle again before the week's out."

"Huh?" Jess asked.

"Candy's — cousin who's sort of her sister by unofficial adoption is about to give birth," Adam explained.

"And you're related to Candy?" Jess asked, wondering why she hadn't clarified when trying to make conversation on the trip to town.

"I'm her honorary step-cousin or uncle on her step-father's side, by virtue of being the virtual descendant of her step-father's honorary brother."

"Once removed," Lynne grinned.

Jess shook her head. "Okay. Didn't know I'd moved to Pine Valley."

The doctor and lawyer just shrugged.

"Right. Well, I'm off before the land shark hears that fresh bait is near. See you, Sunday," Adam nodded.

"Come on in, Sis," Linden said.

XXX

Dinner with Reverend Blackie was a casual affair at Norrie's lobster house. They ran into Claymore on the way out, but he didn't say anything that could be held against him. Blackie did step on his foot once to keep him from saying the word ghost.

Around one a.m. Jess couldn't sleep; she was too tired and too keyed up. Deciding to see if there might be a bottle of red wine in the fridge, since she drank so seldom one sip should zonk her, she crept downstairs as quietly as possible. As she entered the living room, a soft glow out of the corner of her eye drew her attention. In a rapt mixture of fascination and horror, she watched what could only be a ghost glide across the floor then shoot up into what she was sure was her sister's room. Choking down a scream, she scrambled back up the stairs into her own room. Jess knew she had to do something, but what? She just wasn't equipped to handle this.

Her eyes fell on the phone. Blackwood was a pastor. They knew about this stuff, right? They did in the movies.

Under her nightlight's dim glow, she could see that his number was on auto-dial three. Pushing the button, five rings later, his sleepy tone answered.

"Blackie!" she hissed.

"Candy? Carolyn?" he yawned.

"No. Jess."

"Wut's wrong?" he yawned again.

"Get over here, now!"

"Why?"

"It's an emergency."

"Someone hurt?"

"No... there's a — a — aghostinyouraunt'sroom," she blurted.

"Which one is it?" he asked absently. "Siegfried?"

"I didn't get its name... just get over here with your beads and holy water so we can exorcize it before it does something to her — wh — you know a ghost? On a name basis?"

By now, Blackwood was awake and had realized what he said and what she said. "Uh... you know about ghosts?"

"Yes. I — thought I was going nuts until I figured out that I really was seeing ghosts... but I've never dealt with one or tried to exorcise it... but then again, one's never attacked my sister... now will you stop it and get over here?"

"If a ghost is in Aunt Lynne's room, it's either a medical emergency, a certain gentleman figured out what I figured out a while back, or one of them forgot something and is fetching it. Or maybe her place is on the patrol rounds. Unofficially. Aunt Jess... ghosts are… our friends. Our family even." Blackie chuckled weakly.

"Do **what?"**

"If we'd known you could see them, it would have made things a lot easier. I'll let Siegfried know he can move back home, if he wants to."

"Are you saying that Lynne lives with a ghost named..."

"Siegfried — not in the romantic sense, just so she won't be left out on the being haunted bit. She's the only one who hadn't been, when he arrived. And so he doesn't drive his brother bats. Aunt Jess — are you there? Are you okay?"

"I'll let you know when I wake up."

"You aren't dreaming. Why don't you describe the ghost? Was it a pretty redheaded lady? Or a dark haired man with a strong face, with or without a beard? A — "

"How many are there?" Her tone sounded somewhat like Claymore's had when he'd asked why he had ghosts busting out all over, essentially.

"Hmm." He muttered some unintelligible names, and she caught something about, "oops, forgot Elroy, again..." until he finally said, "seven, total."

"Tristan? I heard you say that name and Adam mentioned a Tristan, with a brother named Ultan... Adam knows about ghosts too?"

"Oh yeah. Ultan's not a ghost, he moved on about a century and a half ago, roughly. Not everyone becomes a ghost, just — well, I don't know why they do, if they do, but some do. Adam's known about ghosts as long as Carolyn has, almost, though he did know a ghost, without knowing he was a ghost before that."

"How can you not know someone's a ghost?"

"They can fake very well... most ordinary folk can't tell unless they want it known, kind of like a super hero with a secret ID... not many people know ghosts exist, though the rumors have been around Gull Cottage for the last century... so don't advertise it... I'll make sure you're introduced to everyone who knows or is a ghost..."

"Uh... that's okay, really."

"Jess, they are perfectly nice and not scary at all, unless angered. Now, describe who you saw, please. So I can know if I need to worry or not."

"But you said they are safe..."

"Jess, two are staying with Jenny, and she's at risk for toxemia, though she's been taking good care of herself so it's very well controlled... I'd like to know if she's having problems or not… if she is, then like as not one of them showed up to get the doctor."

"Blondish guy, not really tall," Jess shrugged.

"Would a lady term him cute?"

"Maybe, he wasn't ugly... but not drop… er… dead gorgeous… dressed sort of formally..."

"Sounds more like Sig... So he must've forgotten something, he moved out today so you wouldn't have to deal with ghosts... or think Aunt Lynne was shacking up or loony. Go on back to bed. Just let Aunt Lynne know you know in the morning, or later this morning."

"I'll be getting up in — three-and-a-half hours anyway, so what's the point? I want to know more about..."

"I won't be getting up in three and a half hours. I'd forgotten, you're a morning person," he said the last as if it was curse. "But, I promise I'll make sure you get the whole, long story... when it's a decent hour..."

"Okay," she sighed a bit petulantly. "Night."

Hanging up, she settled down to read for the next few hours until at five she could stand it no longer. Noting that the word Adam was written on the re-dial button under Blackwood, she hit it.

"Lord Dashire," his bleary voice said upon answering, "unless you're calling with a dire emergency, this is not cute."

"I'm not Lord whatsit. It's me, Jess. What can you tell me about spooks?"

"There is a large, scary one that lurks in cellars waiting for sadistic young women to rouse innocent, good hearted attorneys at FIVE BLOODY A.M. so it can grab them and take them down to where their bones won't be found for a hundred and ten years."

"I waited until dawn," she said, as if that was reasonable. "Look, last night I saw one wandering into Lynne's bedroom and I called Blackie... he said it was okay, Siegfried wouldn't hurt her, and he said you know all about all that..."

"I don't do five a.m. unless there's a stray body, someone dying, direly ill, or other such. Are you dead, dying, or suffering from something other than terminal perkiness?"

"No, but listen, why didn't you tell me my sister lives with a ghost? It would have been something to think about other than my knees being wedged into my ears on the long ride home yesterday."

There was a long pause. Then, in a cool as death voice, Adam asked, "Perhaps you would have preferred to walk from Keystone to Schooner Bay? With your fifteen bags of your life? Or perhaps cab fare for thirty miles would suit you?"

"It was five suitcases, a gym bag, and a purse."

"Whatever. I was doing you a favor... and your sister won't be living with a ghost much longer because I'm going to murder Sig for showing himself to you, inspiring this little early morning tete-a-tete."

"How can you murder a ghost? And I see ghosts, even if they don't want to be, so it's not like it's his fault," Jess pointed out.

"Jessamyn, I do not speak at five a.m. except in dire emergency. By your own admission, you are not in a dire emergency. Therefore, good night."

Glaring at the now buzzing phone, she hung up reluctantly. Okay, maybe it was kind of early, especially for a Saturday morning, but ghosts were a shock to some people's, her's anyway, systems. Sighing, she flopped against the headboard and stared at the ceiling for an aeon.

Five minutes later, she gave up trying to relax and sleep for the day. It was useless. With a resigned look, she kicked off the covers, located her house shoes, and after a bit of consideration to the fact that there might be a male ghost wandering around, a robe, then crept into the hallway. Glancing around, she could see no spooks, but did that mean anything? Couldn't they turn invisible?

Careful to make no noise, Jess crept through the hall to the living room. Looking out the window, there was no paper to be seen. Bummer. She was used to reading the Houston Post and Chronicle both. Well, surely there was coffee.

Fifteen minutes later, she had a cup made and was bored again. Saturday morning TV was useless, unless you were a rug-rat. Only so many times could one watch the coyote chase the roadrunner with gizmos from Acme products. Restless, she peered at her sister's reading material. Nothing appealed to her. Spotting a photo album, she picked it up as she curled onto a Papassan chair.

Thumbing through, she identified Thomas and Blackwood at a couple of weddings. The blonde girl must be Thom's wife, Candy? That must be her mother, they looked so much alike. Who was the hot older guy she was dancing with...? She squinted at the caption in Lynne's chicken scratch. **Bride and Father of the Bride dance... Daniel Miles and Candy**. Then there was Candy and her mother and a dark haired girl. **Candy, Carolyn, Jenny. **The sort of sister? Two shaggy-haired blonde guys kept turning up in shots. After some figuring, she deciphered that they were Dave and Jon. Two other men, who wore the typical _get me out of here _looks men had at weddings appeared often. **Sean and Lord Dashire.** Where'd she heard those names again? Never mind. She liked their faces. Open, friendly, happy. An older woman and another man who looked like he didn't like being so dressed up were labeled **Martha and Ed Peavey**. Oh, there was a bald guy that had the name of her new boss, or at least the guy who'd hired her. **Claymore.** And there was Adam. He sure appeared in a lot of pictures. She flipped some more. Various photos chronicled events that had occurred over the last year. There was Adam in what looked like a St Patrick's Day gala. He looked kind of cool when he wasn't uptight.

Then, there were shots of what looked like a play... My Fair Lady. A review was pasted in, so she read it. Glancing between the pictures and article, she had to agree. Freddy and Liza were really in love. They almost glowed. Then, she looked closer, blinking. There was the ghost she'd seen! Now she recalled where she'd heard some of the names... Blackie had muttered them! Looking, she tried to sort out who was alive and who wasn't... but they all looked so… so normal! Flipping, she saw the pictures of people on horseback. The pregnant girl petting a horse, she couldn't be a ghost, could she? Adam surely wasn't. Whoa! What was that? Sis was on a horse, and a hunk had her sitting in front of him like something out of a fairy tale. Lynne looked a bit ticked, but her knight was grinning. She hoped he was alive. It'd be nice if her sister had someone. It'd be more than nice. Linden hadn't relaxed since Alan was killed. The pictures made it look like that was changing... Were the ghosts part of why she was happy again?

Bemused, she didn't register when Linden entered the living room. "Morning. I'd forgotten how early you get up, Sis," Lynne yawned. "Hope you made enough Java for two."

"Huh? Oh, hi. Yeah. Full pot. Do you get a paper? Who was the ghost in your room? At one a.m.?"

Now the doctor came fully awake. "The Beacon only comes out once a week. Not worth coming out then, really. You — you saw Siegfried? Blast it — I told him to stay invisible if he had to pop in."

"I see ghosts," Jess admitted.

"Like Blackie?" Lynne asked.

"Uh, yeah. I guess. Even the invisible ones. But I guess Siegfried didn't really expect me to be up, so maybe he wasn't invisible... anyhow... I saw him pop through the ceiling... are you and he… involved?"

"Me — and Sig? Good night nurse, no." Raking a hand through her hair, Lynne shook her head. "He needed a place to haunt, so I let him hang out here..."

"Right. Well I guess a ghost couldn't anyway..."

"Oh? I wouldn't say that... I am pretty sure that a couple of three ghosts are very much able to, and do so often..."

"Is Adam a — spook?"

"No. He just works for one."

"This sounds like a really long story," Jess sighed.

"You could say that," Lynne chuckled. "Come on, get dressed. We're invited to Gull Cottage for breakfast. The heart of the story is there."

Leery, Jess scrambled to her feet. "Uh, that's okay… really."

"Ghosts are cool. Trust me," Lynne smirked at some secret joke.

"What'd Siegfried want?" Jess asked in resignation.

"He forgot his journal. I had found it earlier and stashed it in my room for him. Ghosts are really big on keeping logs."

"Uh, okay..."

"When'd you find out you could see them?" Lynne asked as she headed toward the kitchen.

"Well, I would tour historic buildings, to take pictures for classes, and once in a while I'd see a person that I could see through... and thought I was bonkers... or just had too much imagination...then I went on a haunted Houston tour... and one or two other persons, but not all of them, saw what I saw... and I found this – well — she was a medium named Tibaldi — lecturing at — don't tell Blackwood I went there, but when I heard a lecture on ghosts was going on, I wanted to know if what I thought I was seeing, was what I was seeing... so I went to the Unity church downtown... it's not much like a church, I'm not sure they worship the same as we do... but the ghost expert was there... and I stayed after to talk to her, and she told me I really was seeing ghosts... so I knew I wasn't nuts..."

Lynne was frowning deeply.

"Look, I know it's not a church like a real church, like Blackie runs or — but it was pure research..." Jess hastened to say.

"Jess, it's not that... I don't think your mind will get corrupted and you'll turn into a pagan just walking into someplace," her sister scoffed. "I've heard that name, Tibaldi before... oh blast it... now I remember, she tried to dispel one of the ghosts here once upon a time."

"It was way before I even knew I was coming here," the younger woman winced. "I'm sure she doesn't know I'm here or would even care..."

"I know... just ironic," Linden exhaled. "Like I said, get dressed, it's Carolyn's week to host brunch... and I don't want to be late. I hate being late."

"Well, at least some things don't change — but I've noticed you haven't called me 'little sister' once... not that I'm griping, but how'd it finally sink in that I hate that?" Jess asked, rising.

"Hearing Sig's little brother yell 'don't call me little brother' often enough."

Gesturing at the album, Jessamyn asked, "Which pictures are of ghosts? I'm not sure, just looking at photos, except for the guy I did see... and who's the prince charming carrying you off on horseback?"

"Someone slipped that one in behind my back," Linden grimaced. "And no, I won't tell you. That's the point, they're very normal, except for having a few extra gifts. So, figure it out yourself."

"Who is Prince Charming?" Jess repeated.

"I take the fifth," Linden called back. "But he's not all that charming," she tacked on in a mutter.

"Right. Is he a spook?"

"Guess."

XXX

Despite her badgering, Jess couldn't get her sister to tell her who was a ghost and who wasn't. As they pulled up to Gull Cottage, Jess' eyes grew wide. "Cottage? When I think of a cottage, it's not that. That's Gull Mansion."

"It is impressive," Lynne agreed with a shrug. "Come on."

Carolyn was on the porch enjoying the sun. "Martha decided to come and has taken over the kitchen, with Molly," she smiled. "Is this Jessamyn?"

"Jess," the young woman shuddered.

"Jess then."

Lynne grinned. "She saw Siegfried... and knows, but don't tell her who is and who isn't mortal. I want to see if her ghost-dar is as good as Blackie's."

"Okay," Carolyn nodded. "Daniel's on the widow's-walk with Sean."

"So, are there ghosts here, Sis?" Linden asked as they entered.

"Well, she's not," Jess said when Dakota greeted her with a sniff, "are you, girl? Neither's Carolyn, but I do feel a… buzz or prickle..."

Right then, there were footsteps on the stairs announcing Daniel and Sean's very normal entry.

"Good morning, ladies," Daniel beamed.

Sean added his welcome simultaneously to Jess blurting out, "You two, you're ghosts!"

"Well, they do say psychic gifts run in families," Sean noted without being phased in the slightest. "Blackie had to get it from somewhere."

"This should make life simpler," Daniel nodded, relaxing into his normal face, making Jess gasp.

"He has a very famous face around here, so in public, my husband doesn't look so much like Daniel Gregg, Schooner Bay's leading citizen," Carolyn explained.

"I guess that's logical... uh, do you... feel like a real person?" Jess asked.

"Well, I was going to shake your hand, then you realized I was a ghost, so, judge for yourself," Daniel said, extending his hand and clasping hers.

It was very warm and real.

"You don't feel spectral."

"Thank you," he smiled. "Learning how to be so was quite a process... but very worth it."

His eyes slid to Carolyn; for a moment, only she existed in his world. Then, Sean cleared his throat. "Right. Well, I'll go fetch Molly and Martha."

"Is Ed here?" Linden asked.

"He's down fishing on the pier," Sean replied, turning around.

"Uh — ghosts eat?" Jess asked, turning red.

Sean stopped again. Smirking, he glanced at Linden. "Aye — though 'tis not required."

"I'm not going to live that down, am I?" she flushed.

"Not likely. My first mate has a long memory," Daniel allowed. "But he only teases those he likes."

Looking from one to the other, Jess asked, "What?"

"Well, back on St. Pat's Day, I was suffering a wee bit of melancholy, at least, and was not participating in the feast Norrie's provided to your sister's satisfaction. She was a mite concerned for my health, if I continued to skip meals," Sean's eyes twinkled.

"The whole disembodied person aspect of the family was a bit new to me," the doctor defended herself.

"And I do appreciate the concern," Sean nodded.

By this time, his trip to the kitchen was not necessary; having heard the stir of voices, Martha and Molly had come into the front room.

"Hello, I'm Martha," the apparently older woman smiled.

"And I'd be Molly," the pretty redhead nodded amiably.

It didn't take an expert to tell that she belonged with Sean, his face lit up like a child's on Christmas morning. Extending a hand to each of them, Jess introduced herself as Daniel informed them. "She knows — about us."

By now, Jess was sure her face was going to remain perpetually red. "I kinda saw Siegfried, when he was probably invisible."

"Well, isn't that fine. I did hate having to pretend around someone who's to be family," Molly grinned.

"Yes, it is easier," Martha agreed dryly. "Captain, would you mind going down to the beach and getting Ed and Jonathan in? Breakfast is almost ready."

"Can I go along?" Jess piped up. "I'd like to see the beach... the only ones I've been to are public ones, and they can be a bit — gnarly."

"Gnarly?" Daniel asked.

"Gross, nasty... ew," she elucidated.

"You will find my beach is not. Come along then."

XXX

As they walked down the sand, Daniel smiled gently, "Go on, I can see a thousand questions dancing in your head. I can answer why I haunt, I think..."

"Uh, that wasn't what I was going to — but yeah — why?"

"You met her. For about a century I thought I haunted because I kicked the blasted gas heater and died too soon, but now, I know it is because I was born too soon to meet Carolyn. What did you want to ask originally?"

"I got to looking at a picture book at Lynne's...and how well do you know my sister?"

"I knew of her since shortly after she moved here... she performed an autopsy on a body that was found in my cellar. However, until after Candy married her son, I didn't really know her other than seeing her from time to time around town."

"A body? Who — darn it, every question seems to lead to ten more! We'll come back to that, okay? The thing is, Linden really, really loved Alan. He was among the first sent to report on Nam— at the end of the fifties. When he died, a bit of her did too, but she had Thomas, and so she had to keep it together. Between interning and raising him, she had a full plate for years... maybe you didn't notice, but she was not happy for most of those years, I don't think. She didn't really notice that she wasn't — too busy, you know?"

Daniel nodded, not sure where her rambling was leading yet, but letting her run on, slowing his pace so she might be able to make her point before they reached the pier.

"Well, when I looked at the pictures, I saw a sister I haven't seen since I was like twelve, or thirteen. Someone relaxed, happy. One picture stood out. The one of her on a horse, with this debonair guy. I'd like to know who he is..."

"That would have to be Dashire," Daniel replied, pausing to pick up a sand dollar. Blackie had mentioned liking the legend behind them, but it wasn't easy to find a whole one. "He was third in command on my ship."

"So he is a ghost? Lynne wouldn't tell me, and said he wasn't all that charming. I don't think she was being on the up-and-up there."

"Yes, he is, and he is quite the charmer."

"Are they…?"

"Not to my knowledge, and even if they were, I don't violate confidences." To be honest, he hadn't noticed any romance there, but it was an intriguing notion.

"It'd be nice," Jess shrugged. "She deserves to be happy."

"So does he," she thought she heard the ghost murmur. Louder, he called, "Ahoy! Jonathan, Ed. Come on in."

Two figures made their way from the pier. "Catch anything?" Daniel asked.

"Fish ain't biting," the older man groused.

"Ed here is Martha's husband," Daniel informed her. "Jonathan is my step-son. This is Jess, Linden's sister, the new history teacher Claymore hired."

"Don't you mean Clay?" the boy ribbed, brushing his hair out of his eyes. "Teachers are prettier these days."

Ed nodded, then noticed Daniel's face. "Wh — "

"It's okay," Jess repeated. "I'm like Blackie."

"Cool!" Jonathan grinned.

Daniel noted with amusement it was a good thing his step-son was headed back to school the next day. He could see a crush building there.

XXX

The morning passed without incident; it was spectacularly ordinary. If Jess hadn't been told that three ghosts were there, she'd not have known it, except for the times that Sean or Daniel would pass something to one of the ladies without the use of their hands.

When it was time to go, Jess was more than slightly reluctant. However, Carolyn invited them back that evening. Since Jonathan was leaving to go back to school the following afternoon after church and in honor of Jess' arrival, they wanted to have a family dinner. With Gull Cottage the largest of all the homes among their family, at least in Schooner Bay, it was going to be there. Then, Jess would get to meet everyone.

"Of course, you have met one of the guests, besides us," Carolyn informed her, a half smile playing on her face. "Lynne said you met Adam already."

"He's family? I thought, hoped he was just kind of popping off." Jess made a face.

"No. Adam is very much family, more so than some** legal **relations," Daniel said. "Even if he weren't so useful, we'd enjoy having him in the clan."

Shaking her head, Lynne told her sister to be nice, then asked Daniel to track down Sig to let him know he could come back home, if he wanted to.

Suddenly, Sean, who'd popped out, reappeared holding a thick binder. Extending it to Jess, he said modestly, "Carrie and I've sort of recorded some of our family history… it's typed out. Neither of us has much in the way of handwriting, but... we got to talking one day about how incredible our pasts are. Someday, perhaps all of us will — move on to the light... but it'd be a pity if the grandchildren of grandchildren didn't know their marvelous past. Thought maybe it'd help you make sense of — well — us."

"And you can tell us if it makes sense to someone who doesn't have all of us standing there to ask questions to," Carolyn mused. "Just in case we don't all haunt forever."

On that slightly down note, they adjourned. However, the hours between brunch and dinner flew by. In no time at all, they were heading back to Gull Cottage. As Jess stepped across the threshold once more, she abruptly took a step back, right onto a foot.

"YEOWWA!" an offended voice complained.

Half-turning, she saw Adam wearing a pained expression stemming from her spiked heel crashing through his newly re-found, canvas tennis shoe.

"Is there a particular reason you want to cripple me for life?" he asked, a touch snidely.

Face flaming, she coughed. "Uh, well, it's just, there's so many of them... it threw me a little."

"Blackie's never tried to break my foot," Adam muttered back just as Tristan appeared.

"Oh, I thought it was Clay arriving. I wanted to see who'd stolen my thunder," the youngest ghost blinked. Sticking a hand toward Jess, he introduced himself. "Tristan Matthews."

"I'm Jess Thomas," she gulped. This was the first time, besides Siegfried, one of the ghosts had just popped in, in front of her. "Stolen your thunder?"

"Tris considers it his duty to evoke the most astounding noises possible, as often as he can, from hapless victims," Adam informed her. "Treading on me was infringing on his territory."

"No, she wasn't. I only like to scare Claymore," Tristan contradicted. "Never a charming lady, or the fellow who taught me how to drive."

"Well, you're not safe then, Jess," Adam smirked.

Linden came up the walk behind them. It'd taken her a minute or two to park, since other cars were there ahead of her. She'd sent Jess on ahead with her contribution for the evening.

"Would you all clear the traffic jam?" she asked before Jess could snipe back at Adam.

Moving aside, Jess shot him a glare, so didn't see the amused look Tristan sent Lynne's way. It was returned with a querulous one. Lynne knew that ghosts could see things that were not apparent, so wondered what Mr. Matthews was sensing. However, now was not the time, as Dash came to see why there was a congregation at the door.

"Ah, Doctor, so wonderful to see you," he grinned, kissing her hand before she could move it away. "And this would be your lovely sister?"

"You're Lord Dashire?" Jess beamed.

"Great, another one," Tristan sighed. Ever since they'd been alive, he'd watched women melt at Dash's feet.

"Indeed, dear girl. You have heard of me?"

"Who hasn't?" Adam asked rhetorically. "I'll take this," he appropriated the covered dish, thus freeing Jess' hands to be kissed, "to the kitchen for you."

Except for Claymore, who was generally late so he could miss out on any work, the rest of the family was there. Jess finally got to meet her newest niece, Candy, and to get a good look at Siegfried.

When Blackie made a passing comment to his "Aunt Jessamyn," Jenny, Carolyn's pregnant cousin/daughter, looked up, eyes bright. "What a lovely name! It's the same as Ben Kenobi's grand-daughter's."

Sean frowned. "Jenny, lass, you did talk me into seeing both of those movies, and I don't recall seeing that he had any relatives."

Dave coughed. "She reads faster than usual lately." The look he gave his wife, gently amused and long suffering, said that this might not be a good thing. "So, I found a fanzine company, they publish Alternate Universes of popular things — Star Trek and Wars, Doctor Who, Camelot, you name it. Some are strange, but some are good."

"You've read them too?" Carolyn asked.

He shrugged. "In one of them, Jessamyn Kenobi is Ben's descendant, and married to Luke, since the Princess ditched him. I think Jen cares about the new characters more than the canon ones."

"Not more, but as much," she admitted.

"Just don't name your child Jessamyn, please," the woman begged.

"I'll add it to the list," Tristan grinned. "Coming from a family where names were unfortunately given, I've been advising her on the etiquette of inflicting a moniker on one's child."

"Little brother…" Siegfried began.

Daniel cleared his throat. "Siegfried."

"Tristan, I'm sure our father had good reasons for naming us as he did," the ghost amended without missing a beat.

To avoid fight as much as anything else, Linden got everyone's attention. "Hey, Jess, have you thought about a car yet?"

"Not overly," the young woman mentioned, somehow sounding casual and on guard both.

"You'll need one... soon."

By now, Claymore was there, and now spoke up, "Roger down at the car lot gives me a commission for every referral."

"And he sold me two lemons the first two years I was here," Carolyn reminded her landlord. "But then, I didn't know a fig about car buying. I was an easy mark."

"That is one area I could not, and still would find helping you difficult, my dear," Daniel admitted.

"Studies have been done, " Dave contributed, "proving that women usually get taken at car lots and mechanics. Unfair, but a fact."

"Well, I can't do anything about it before Monday," Jess sighed. "Maybe I could borrow a man to keep — what was his name, Roger? — honest?"

"Not me, Auntie, the budget committee meeting is Monday afternoon," Blackie opted out smoothly.

"I can't take off work either," Thom added. Nor could Dave. Claymore and Ed had a Town Council meeting. Jonathan would be back in Philly.

"Iwouldbuthorsesaremyareaofexpertise," Siegfried blurted.

"I'm afraid all of us are more into ships or horses," Daniel agreed. "Unless, Tristan?"

"I can make one go, but knowing what a good one is or is not?" Tristan shook his head.

"Perhaps a mere token male presence would suffice?" Dash opined.

"No, if that's all it is, then I'd rather not," Jess frowned. "I deserve respect — but I could use a expert eye. Male or female."

Suddenly, all eyes were on Adam. "I can cover the office for you," Candy said pointedly.

"Excellent. It's settled. Adam will pick you up after school, and take you to Roger's, or to Skeldale," Dashire declared with so much authority that only Daniel might have overridden him.

Except perhaps, Linden. "Better make that a plan for Tuesday, Charlie. Just remembered, Monday is Labor Day, and I don't think the car lot is open then, either. In fact, I bet the meetings are Tuesday too."

After a moment's thought, they all realized she was correct; they'd just been thinking of the first day of the work-week.

Feeling like he couldn't get out of it without looking petty, Adam shrugged. "Fine. What time does class dismiss, Tuesday?"

With that settled, dinner was much as brunch had been, albeit with more people; calm and normal. To be honest, Jess was more worried about having a crash course in birthing babies than ghostly activity, but even that was not to be. Not during dinner, anyway.


	2. This Kiss

**2-1This Kiss & Other Happy Events**

However, when Blackie got a call very early on Sunday morning, although he was getting a bit tired of the blasted thing ringing before the sun rose, he was not surprised to learn that Mrs. Farnon was on her way to Skeldale. Any help he might have expected from her husband leading the music that day was going to have to come from elsewhere.

Between the holiday weekend and the new arrival being ushered in, Blackie's congregation was notably smaller. However, all the family, other than Dave, Jenny, and Dr. Avery were there, having been told it would be pointless to go wait and pace for hours. If the sermon was said a bit faster or shaved to be a tad shorter, no one complained. Seeing everyone he was related to by choice or blood leave before the final 'N' faded in the Amen of the benediction didn't phase him either. Aware that his Aunt Jess was not noted for patience, he did wonder if she'd grab a ride with Thom, or wait for him to give her one, since Aunt Lynne had the car. He was grateful that Siegfried had sat next to his brother to keep him from popping in and out to see how things were going.

By the time they all got to St. Mary's Hospital in Skeldale, Amberly Laura Farnon had been born and was receiving guests in her mother's room. Thanks to having an honorary aunt who was a doctor, the entire clan was able to squeeze in for a visit. Besides, about half of them could hardly be kept out if they really wanted to enter, and didn't occupy any more room than they wished to.

Marveling over the tiny miracle who had arrived via a textbook delivery, in Lynne's expert opinion, Daniel glanced sideways at his 'nephew.' "Claymore, I believe you wanted a stock tip some time back?"

Blinking in confusion, Claymore stammered, "Y — yes. You remembered?"

Mindful of the dozing baby, Daniel did not yell, merely declared with the force of doing so, "Of course I remember, you nitwit. I have a perfect memory. Now, do you want it?"

"O — of course."

"Polaroid or Kodak."

"Why?" Claymore had to ask.

"I suspect that enough pictures are about to be made to make their sales increase ten-fold."

With that, Claymore could not argue.

Through the soft babble, Daniel caught Jenny asking his wife, "Would you and Daniel mind if — if she calls you Grandmother and Father? Dave's parents won't be around much, I think once every five years maybe, and well..."

After a quick look to get his nod, Carolyn smiled. "We'd be delighted."

Jenny shot Dave a grin before looking over at Jonathan, who had delayed his return to school for a few hours, then at Candy and Thom. "You'll all answer to aunt or uncle, I hope?" Then she laughed. "Uh — all of you?"

"Thought you'd never ask," Thom assured her.

"Tough call, but yes," Jonathan agreed. Candy nodded as she wiped happy tears away.

Assent was given in a variety of ways around the room, until they noticed Jess hadn't nodded or said yes.

"You're included," Dave told her, "if you want to be."

"I hardly know you — you don't have to be nice," she flushed.

"We aren't. We do like you, already. Some people are like that, you know," Jenny said. "Heck, I've only known this one a few hours and I'm nuts about her."

"Then, sure. But, if you change your mind, that's — " Jess broke off when Adam pinched her arm.

"I'd just like to take a second," Dash said with a bit less of his usual suave flair, "to say thanks to you two. I — missed most of Aislyn's, er — seven pregnancies. Now I see how much I missed, and what it was. I regret that, but this — being part of taking care of you two, has made up for it, somewhat."

Only Jess noticed the tear Linden wiped from the corner of her eye. It seemed Big Sister wasn't as tough as she might act, at least not all the time. Knowing Lynne would hate anyone seeing her misting over, Jess halfway smiled. "Thanks from me, too. For letting me in on what looks like a weird, but wonderful bunch... I gotta know, though... the Princess has a very unusual name — and I thought Tristan over there had urged caution on that?"

"Since when do we pay attention to Tristan?" Siegfried asked, evoking a few laughs and a shush from the doctor. It really wouldn't do to have anyone catch her letting this many people in the room. Obligingly, Tris looked offended, though his eyes revealed that to be a sham.

"I bet it's from a book," Martha said. "At least the first name. Laura for your mother, right?"

Jenny nodded. "It is from a book. The Elfstones of Shannara — Amberly was a Princess, Jess, who was full of love for her people, so much that she chose to live forever as their guardian. It's a lovely story, and Amberly is a real name. It means 'little jewel'." A maternal smile filled her face, from lips to eyes. "That's who she is, our jewel."

"Well, we haven't heard you discussing names," Sean noted. "I had wondered about that, as god-father."

"I can explain that," Dave said. "We spent HOURS discussing the perfect name options. But we wanted it to be a surprise to everyone. If she'd been a son, it'd have been easy. Greg Patrick. Patrick is Dad's name, and well..." he grinned ruefully at Daniel. "I won't change my last name, but... we'll try for next time." He winced, drawing attention to the scratch marks on his hand where someone's nails had raked him as he held her hand during labor. "After we've enjoyed my daughter's company for a while."

After a few more comments, Linden felt duty bound to be a doctor, not just an adoring honorary aunt. "Okay. I don't think she's going to get sent back, so I'm asking you all to let Jenny and Amberly get some rest. I promise, you can look at her later. Besides, she is going home first thing Tuesday morning."

"Aye, aye, you're the boss here," Daniel saluted.

"Does that include me?" Dave asked a bit forlornly.

"Yes, you look ready to collapse," the doctor instructed. "You've had a busy night, too."

Almost in chorus, Candy and Adam spoke up, "Want to come home with me/us, Dave?" Adam finished, adding, "Save yourself the long round trips?"

Dave glanced between them. "Hate to impose..."

Candy gave him a look that said more than words, but did tack some onto it. "Just tell us whether you're coming home with me or him."

"You are the better cook," the new father said thoughtfully.

"Watch it, or I'll buy Amberly her first Barbie," Adam warned.

Captain Gregg, listening intently to the easy banter he always enjoyed, frowned down at his wife. "Love, I fail to see how that's a dire threat. Surely I've taught the boy how to make better ones than that?"

Carolyn laughed softly. "Well, our first daughter wasn't a Barbie girl, and our older second one was past that stage when she arrived, but trust me, from what I hear it's a terrible thing to do. Barbie herself is cheap, but the houses, the clothes, cars, friends... add up."

"Mattel, that's where I'll invest," Claymore declared.

XXX

In the end, Dave went home with Candy and Thom, more because they actually had a spare room, not just a lumpy sofa with spare linens tossed hastily over it and a makeshift pillow.

That evening, Carolyn Gregg met her husband up in what had once been his sanctuary from humanity, the wheelhouse or attic, for a glass of Madeira.

"To our first grandchild, in a sense, Madam," he toasted.

"To Amberly," she agreed, clinking her glass to his.

After each took a sip, Daniel tentatively broached the next subject. "Any regrets, my dear?" He had not missed a slight shadow in her eyes.

"Of course not. You know I've loved having Jenny in our family since she first arrived. She fit in as if born to it. I do regret that we're likely to be invaded soon. You know Mom and Dad, not to mention a variety of cousins, will be pulling into port to meet Amberly."

"And it seems as if we only just cleared the decks from the weddings," Daniel sighed.

"It's been more than a year for Candy and Thom," Carolyn reminded.

"What a year it's been at that," he mused. In that time, he and his lady had finally married, Sean had found his Molly again, their mutual writing career had taken off, Tristan had found his way home, Lynne had learned their secret, Siegfried had blown into their lives, there had been My Fair Lady, Jess, and now, Amberly Laura was part of the family.

"What could I possibly have to regret?" Carolyn asked, almost in response to his thoughts. Perhaps she'd picked up a bit of his talent for reading people?

"You and I never — had a child," Daniel stated with as little inflection as possible, testing the waters a bit.

"Not the usual way, no," she allowed. "But Jonathan and Candy don't really remember Bobby, thank goodness. In their hearts you are their father, their only father. Jenny does remember Jack and Laura, with love and joy, but she has room in her heart for you and me as parents as well. So, how could I want more?"

He just looked at her silently.

"Yes, I do wish you and I had a baby, born from our love, but..." Carolyn shook her head. "I suppose it's a dim possibility, if — I haven't gone through the 'change,' so — but I don't think you — or could you?" By now, she could feel her face turning bright red as the awkward sentence was pulled from her.

"To be honest, I don't know," he admitted, taking her hand. "Until you and I, no spectre and mortal have ever, at least not admittedly, been — intimate in that way. And, I do know that at a certain point, bearing children is less possible for women, whether or not their husband is a ghost, so even now, there's not been a fair test of what is possible."

"I don't think, between the two factors, it's likely enough to worry," Carolyn smiled. "If it happened, it'd be a miracle due to either, and who are we to argue with that?"

"We have had our share of those, miracles, that is," Daniel agreed. "However, I'll be content to confine our dealings with children to babysitting our grandchildren."

"Children? Is — " Carolyn began, startled.

"If she is, she hasn't said so," he chuckled, though it was a slightly hollow laugh.

Tuesday

Labor Day was slightly different than had been anticipated. Seeing Amberly Laura took priority over a beach picnic. Jonathan stopped once to see his new 'niece' on the way back to school. The other living relatives attempted to confine themselves to visiting hours Monday; however, the non-living felt under no such duress. Several times Sunday and Monday night, Jenny half-woke to see a ghost keeping watch over her.

Only Jess didn't take part in all this; not because she didn't care about seeing Jenny and the baby, but because she HAD to get it together to start school. By Tuesday morning, she was as ready as she'd ever be for the day that flew past her. When the final bell rang that afternoon, it seemed as if she'd just arrived.

Adam was standing beside his jeep in the parking lot for her to finish up the miscellaneous stuff that had to be done before she could leave.

"Good day?" he asked, helping her take the high step up into the vehicle.

"I guess. It wasn't bad anyway. Did Jenny get home okay?"

"Yes," he nodded. "As I understand it, Lord Dashire and Tristan were devastated to learn she won't be using her nursery for the first month, but using a crib in her parents' room."

"How come?" Jess asked as she took a ponytail holder from her voluminous purse and tied her hair up.

"It's better for the child to be there, for a while, is what I've been told," Adam shrugged. Babies were not in his ken.

"No. Why should Tristan and Dashire care?"

"Because they spent days, maybe even weeks decorating the room. If you ever need painting done — they are your men. Ah, here we are."

Shelving the next question she'd wanted to ask, Jess followed Adam past an odd bunch of vehicles. For the most part, she'd not take a one of them home. They were frankly ugly, or just not what she wanted.

It took only a few seconds for a salesman to bustle over to them, but Adam waved him off. "Just looking, we'll call you."

Suddenly, she grabbed his arm. "There, that one."

"Don't look eager," he informed her sternly. Looking in the direction she indicated, Adam considered all of two seconds before saying, "No," and pulling her in another direction.

"No? I liked that car. It's a lovely blue and matches my eyes. Kidding. But it is pretty, and I don't see anything obviously wrong with it. I've never had a nice car, just putt-putt clunky things."

"It's impractical, guzzles gas, would be a tin can in a wreck, and reminds me of Blair Thompson."

"Who's she? Old girlfriend?"

"No. HE's an officious lout who has a talent for making life miserable. He also drove a stupid little sports car much like that. Sean told me Carolyn gave you the 'Muir/Gregg Chronicles.' He's in there."

"I've been slightly busy. I just glanced to see a bit of who's who. Anyway, you aren't the one driving it."

"No, I'm not. But your nephews and sister would be most angry with me if I let you buy a car that got you killed. I don't like funerals either. So, we'll get something like that one, there. It looks very safe, and is NOT a putt-putt."

"That tank? Absolutely not. I hate it. It's too big, I'll never find a parking space and it's the worst shade of red I've ever seen. Police ticket more red cars than any other color, besides black."

"So, drive safely. Or paint it. What's wrong with red?"

"It's Aggie Red. I'm not an Aggie."

"Aggie? Carolyn's — aunt or is it cousin?"

"Huh? You've never been to Texas, have you? Everyone makes Aggie jokes, and A and M 's school color is that shade of red. So, no."

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Adam sighed, "Fine. That is the one car on this lot that I would agree to and you hate it. Get in the jeep."

"But — "

"We're going to Skeldale. There's a good lot there. Claymore will simply not get his commission this time."

"Skeldale's a bit bigger, right?" she asked as she buckled her seat belt.

"Moderately."

"Great. When we're done, I want to go to a mall."

Pausing, Adam clicked off the ignition key before it was fully cranked. "Excuse me?"

"A mall. You know, shopping."

"Why do you need to shop? You have enough clothes to choke a horse. I know, I carried the suitcases."

"Not for me. I need a baby gift, for Amberly."

With that, Adam could not argue. He needed to do that, too. Jenny and Dave's stubborn refusal to know whether Amberly was a son or daughter before she arrived had made gift buying tricky. He'd even considered urging Dash to peek at Lynne's records. However, he could not violate his own ethics.

"Okay, but no mall. We'd have to drive about forty miles in the other direction. There is a ni — "

"No mall? I didn't expect a Galleria, but no mall? Not at all?"

"You'e a poet that didn't know it," he quipped. "No. Nearest one is Bangor. There is, as I was saying before someone cut in on me, a very nice open shopping center. I'm sure we can both find something there."

"Are you sure this is a civilized area?" Jess sighed. "Jenny loves to read. How does she find books for herself?"

"Bookstores exist outside of malls. Thanks. Now I know what I'll get. A book."

"That's an excellent idea. I am hoping they'll start reading to her right off." Jess sounded moderately surprised by his insight.

"I do have good ideas, from time to time. And yes, the two of them have already taken steps to ensure she'll grow up to be smart and wise." Adam grinned as he recalled the language discussions at the shower." Since we're together, we won't get the same book."

"Doubt we would anyway, but no. I want to get something else. A birth stone charm, to start a bracelet she can collect little things for her whole life. Amberly is so lucky, she can have any color stone she wants except red."

Frowning, Adam pulled onto the highway and had to concentrate on driving for a few minutes before responding. "Because red is the Aggie color? I thought sapphires were blue, not any color."

"Every hue but red," Jess shook her head. "Red sapphires exist, but they're rubies."

"I knew they were the second hardest stone, but not that. Interesting."

"The orange is the most valuable, but they're pretty much extinct. The pappadracha."

"Then, I won't look for one. Oh, blast. Not that this isn't fascinating, but I need to watch the road — there's some hang-up. Gonna have to detour, and I need to pay attention now."

Until they reached the car lot, Jess remained silent. When they got to the lot, the debating began all over again. Finally, a mid-sized, silver Honda appealed to Jess' aesthetically. Adam popped the hood and gave it a thorough looking over then test drove it around the block. After coming back, Adam asked to borrow a phone, went in and called his mechanic. Since the dealer did know Adam, he was allowed to drive it to the shop two blocks away to have it examined. Since it would take about an hour, Adam said they could kill time at Hialeah Market.

"It's not the Galleria, but we should do okay," Adam said as they entered.

"Okay... I'll meet you..." Jess began.

"You don't know your way around this place — and I'm in no mood to wander around looking for you. We're staying together."

"Fine."

XXX

In the bookshop, Adam noted with interest that she didn't even glance at the racks of category romances, opting to browse larger, more substantial ones. As they checked out, he asked what she'd found.

"Blackie's birthday isn't too far off. I know he likes James Montgomery Boice, so I think he's not read this one, a commentary on **Romans**. If he has, I'll save the receipt."

Stepping into the waning sunlight, Jess spotted a small beading shop. "Looks promising. Come on."

With a shrug, Adam followed her across the space separating the stores. When they got closer, it was apparent the little place was closed. A sign proclaimed the owner was "out to dinner. Back soon."

"Great," Jess sighed, peering into the window. "Do you — "

Before the question could be completed, she found was grabbed abruptly with a soft kiss pressed against her face. Shock and offense screamed in the back of her head, but after a second or two, Jessamyn began to feel something a bit different. Just when she had almost decided this wasn't so bad, Adam stepped back and began speaking.

"Oh, I didn't see you there, Mrs. Coburn, er — Sharpe... Mrs. Hassenhammer. How are you?"

"Mr. Pierce," a simpering voice that raked across Jess' nerves cooed. "Who is this?"

"That's the new teacher, Margaret," a less sickly sweet, but still grating, voice pointedly stated.

As Adam grabbed her hand, interlacing their fingers, Jess took a good look at the two women standing with their backs to the setting sun. The words "Barbie dolls who are not aging gracefully" popped into her head.

"Jess," Adam said through a fake smile, "these are two of Schooner Bay's prominent citizens, Darlene Hassenhammer, and Margaret C — Sharpe. Ladies, this is Jessamyn Thomas, Doctor Avery's sister, and my... friend."

"We see that," Margaret snapped.

"Penny sends her love, Mister Pierce," Darlene's saccharine tone informed him.

"How nice of her," he inclined his head. "Well, Jess, I'm afraid we'll have to see the jeweler later. Maybe we can find somewhere else that has what you want. Or we can come back after grabbing a bite. Nice seeing you, but we're in a rush."

Determinedly, he guided Jess in some other direction, any other direction would suffice.

When they'd gone a way, Jess asked, "What was that?"

"Land-sharks. Margaret is looking for husband number two. No unattached man is safe. Darlene wants a lawyer husband for her precious daughter."

"Penny."

"Got it in one."

"So, that was just a ruse, so you'd look attached?" She wasn't sure if she was angry or disappointed.

"No — I mean — blast. Either one would be a fate far worse than death. Though how bad death is could be considered debatable. I don't dislike you, really." Adam had a feeling he was digging himself deeper in the proverbial cellar.

Jess remained stoically silent for several paces, then sighed. "Okay, but you owe me now."

"Was it that horrible?"

"No. But, I think you should ask me out now... otherwise you'll be totally lying."

"I never said we were — " he protested.

"Implied then. Unless you go around kissing everyone, and that'd be worse. "

Adam considered. She had a point, and it really had been kind of... nice was all he'd admit to. "Okay. And I was going to buy you a burger tonight."

"I mean a real date." She planted her feet and refused to move. "And not Norrie's, where you could kill another bird and make us look like an item to fool anyone with it."

"Any other specifications?"

"No. Surprise me."

"Very well. My calendar is at the office. So, I'll have to call you."

"Okay."

"Am I forgiven then?" Adam asked, startled to find he cared if he was or not.

"I'm not sure," she began, pausing before ending, "that it's necessary. But if it is, then yes."

XXX

Given that they didn't have the time to wait for the jeweler to return, Jess opted to return to the bookstore and picked another book for Amberly, one about unicorns, on Adam's suggestion. Then, it was time to go back to the mechanic who said it was a good car and suggested a fair price. It was one Jess felt like she could swing. She had managed her funds well; saving the money she'd received selling the car she had in Houston back there. It would have cost too much to move a car that only she had always hated. She'd let Susan's husband help her choose it, and it was hard to argue with the General. Her moving costs had been a plane ticket and one UPS shipment, since she was living with her sister, at least until she knew if her job was permanent.

Back at the used lot, Adam went into full attorney mode, negotiating a better deal that she'd expected. Her car sale would nearly cover it. She'd come back on Thursday with Blackie or Lynne, pay, and drive it home.

"You're good," she noted, in slight awe as Adam helped her into the jeep.

"Would that be my dickering skills or the kiss?" he asked.

"The negotiations," she stated. "After all, the kiss was fake. I'd have to have a real one to know."

"I'll consider it," he promised with a wink.

Darn it, ghosts weren't the only charmers.

"I'll bet you a Coke that before two days pass, we'll be the talk of the town," was the last thing he said before dropping Jess off at Lynne's.

XXX

Jess' language might have gotten a bit stronger than "darn it" if she'd been with Carolyn Gregg, or as the town knew her, Miles, the next day.

While doing errands in town, Carolyn was stopped when a shrill voice called her name. Pasting on a pleasant smile and wishing she'd never told her children that "it never hurt to be nice," she'd been wrong, the lady of Gull Cottage turned to face Jane Trouble — er — Shoemaker.

"Good morning, Jane. How are you doing lately?"

"Just lovely. Oh, I could complain, but there are SOOO many less fortunate than I, that it would be tacky, now wouldn't it?"

_And that has stopped you when?_ Carolyn thought, but only nodded, tacitly inviting Jane to say whatever it was she was intent on saying.

"You'll never guess what Darlene told me last night at our bridge club." Not waiting for Carolyn to express the slightest interest, she plunged ahead on that same breath. "She saw your lawyer in Skeldale last evening, before the meeting, of course."

"Well, Adam does **live** in Skeldale," Carolyn returned in a nonplussed tone.

"He was with a woman," Jane announced triumphantly.

Still calm, Carolyn inclined her head. "Jessamyn. Yes, I knew they — "

"You knew? She saw them at a jewelry shop, looking in the window, and KISSING. He said she was his 'friend'."

_That's an improvement over the bickering they seemed prone to last I saw them_. "Really? I'm glad they're friends," Carolyn essayed. As time had gone by, she'd acquired the ability to mask over her surprise. It was a handy talent.

XXX

Looking out over Bay Road, Daniel smiled to see his beloved's car pull up to their home. Moving away from his telescope, he popped downstairs to meet her. A fond smile crossed her face as the bags she carried were divested from her by an invisible hand to march in the cottage on their own.

"There's nothing in there for you, 'Kota," she informed their oversized lummox of a dog as she sniffed the parcels. Huge golden eyes turned a crestfallen look on her. "You know James told you that you needed to lose five pounds."

"Hello, Darling," Daniel said, appearing to kiss her. Then, he stepped back to peer at her. "What is that look for, my love?"

"What look?" Carolyn innocently asked.

If he had questioned whether or not he was "seeing" things in her expression, the tone confirmed that he was not. "The look that says you have something you truly want to tell me but are trying not to."

"I don't have any looks like that," she protested.

"You don't see yourself with my eyes," he informed her, tilting her face up to look into his eyes.

"Blast it, do you have to be off in the ether or taking ghost lessons for me to be able to keep a secret or two?"

"Or make me stick to a schedule so you know where I am. Dakota is not quite as sharp as Scruffy."

"I haven't done that in ten — eleven years... and that schedule was **your **idea."

He suppressed a smile, but it crept to the edges of his lips. "Since I'm onto you, are you planning another party?"

"No... I ran into Jane in town."

"That is hardly a reason to look like you do."

"I don't want to gossip, but what she told me..."

"Out with it, my love," he commanded tenderly, guiding her to the living room.

"Darlene Hassenhammer..."

"I still think Tristan was right on naming her Hasslehammer, " Daniel chuckled. "Or Hassenlooper. She is loopy."

"Yes. Darlene saw Adam and Jess in Skeldale looking in a jewelry shop and kissing."

"That is a bit out of character for Adam," Daniel mused, stroking his chin. "Consider the source-s. Neither woman is very reliable."

"But why spread that kind of rumor?" Carolyn persisted.

"My dear, I want you to promise me that you and Dash won't put your heads together and... interfere." Faster than she could blink, he had both her hand in his own so she couldn't cross her fingers behind her back.

"We wouldn't do that. And it would be nice. Adam's never really been in love — and she's a sweet girl. They're a cute couple."

"My dear, in all likelihood and in light of that reprehensible dinner Adam was roped into at the Hasslehammer's, he merely convinced Jess to participate in a ruse to throw the land-shark and the mother off the trail," Daniel guessed. "I can't blame him, since he can't just pop."

"They'd still be a good looking couple — and the way they bicker they won't ever make it together without a bit of..."

"The best relationships begin with bickering, may I remind you?" Daniel smiled. "Need I remind you of a monkey-puzzle tree, your candidacy for mayor, the PTA, etcetera? I'd say it's a good sign."

"We did have some help, though," Mrs. Gregg insisted.

Seeing that there was no win to be had at the moment, Daniel did what any logical man would.

He kissed her thoroughly enough that the only romance on Carolyn Gregg's mind was her own with that wonderful man.

XXX

Just as Dashire was exiting the Schooner Bay Beacon Office, Claymore was walking in. Supernally quick reflexes made Dash make himself somewhat less substantial so that the impact was lessened.

Still, seeing Claymore's furious scowl, he felt obligated to say, "Sorry, old boy. I didn't see you. No harm done, I trust?"

"Of course not; you — you know what you did," Claymore shook his head. "I want to know why I'm the last person to know anything, when I'm supposed to be sort of family, legally, anyway."

"You do know about Amberly. I imagine everyone does, actually, and you WERE there," Dash shrugged. "But, Dave did want a birth announcement anyway, that's all I was doing here."

"Not that," Claymore sighed. Dash could almost hear the little man asking _do you think I'm dense?_ If the question was given voice, he would take the fifth. "About Adam."

"I think, old son," Dashire said with care, "you might be one up on me. What about Adam?"

"He — oh — I need to get this ad placed before the Beacon's ad sale expires... hang on, I'll be right out. You know, since all the you-know-what's have moved into all my property, I'm just not pulling in as much revenue."

"Go ahead, Clay. I've all the time in the world."

When Claymore emerged a few minutes later, he didn't get right to the subject at hand. "I do hope someone wants to rent that nice little cottage."

"Not the O'Casey's?" Dash asked, prepared to take measures to dissuade the landlord.

"No," Claymore shook his head. "What d'ya take me for? It's a beachfront cottage a few miles away. Four bedroom, two and a half baths, deck, ah..."

"Sounds lovely, I'm — " Dash began pleasantly.

"You can't have it," Claymore snapped.

"I was merely noting that you should rent such a fine place easily," Dash blinked as they walked along. "Now, Adam?"

"He and the doctor's sister are getting married. Margaret Coburn saw them together picking out rings in Skeldale."

"I thought they were picking out a car," Dashire commented. "I say, Adam moves fast, when he moves." However, he doubted Margaret Coburn's or Sharpe's, whatever she called herself, veracity. He'd pop in and ask the source himself.

"I'd think you'd know, he is your friend," Claymore probed.

"Which is why I think you've picked up a rumor that has no basis in fact, or very little anyway," Dashire firmly stated. "So, don't go spreading it around, old son. Do you understand?"

Claymore frowned and started to argue.

"Clay, rumor mongering is not something that a **Gregg** would do."

With a glance to make sure that no one was watching, Dash popped out.

XXX

While Jess waited for Blackie to pick her up Wednesday afternoon, the sudden sensation of being watched crept up her spine. From her seat on the steps, she looked up into the PTA president's stern face.

Rising, Jess planted a smile on her face, not letting the tension that expression provoked show. "Mrs. Nussman, how are you?"

"Miss Thomas," the elder woman bit out. "What is the meaning of your — behavior yesterday?"

Frantically trying to think what the heck the woman meant, Jess reviewed her actions of the prior day. She'd given a pop quiz to see what her student's knew so as to get a feel of what would be redundant to teach, assigned them to read ten pages in chapter one, bought a car and a baby gift... and... _oops. _ Her controlled mien slipped a bit as the word_ Adam _dinged in her brain. Still, she managed a nonchalant shrug. "Well, I admit, some of the kids were not thrilled to get a pop quiz, much less homework, but it is school, and I didn't see any sense in wasting time."

"It was your **actions **after school to which I referred," Mrs. Nussman sniped. "In Skeldale, with the young man."

"Well, the way I understood the contract was this, when I'm off the clock, I'm on my own time. Two, I was in a whole other town. Three, if you're talking about him kissing me — it was just a kiss. Four, it was on my own time in another town, which I've already said and it was not on the school track field. Five it was only a kiss, not — I'm not going to say what it was not because I **am **a lady and we are in public... and... " _Six, good grief, I'm sounding like him with the counting. Shut up, Jessamyn. "_I really haven't been teaching here long enough for anyone to gripe about my methods in the classroom, and as long as I'm not being illegal or — committing — " _what was that word Blackwood used when expounding on the T.U.L.I.P.? ah — yeah, " — _depravity, then it's no one's business — other than his. What was seen wasn't what — anyone else thought, and it's not anyone else's concern. Now, good day."

Right on cue, Blackie pulled up, stopped, and got out barely in time to open the door for his aunt. When he started to wave to the woman who was making a fish face in Jess' direction, the teacher hissed, "Unless you're about to make a gesture that I don't **think **pastors make, don't you dare wave at that harpy."

Curious, Blackie obediently dropped his hand. Fortunately, he'd been warned by a call from Mrs. Gregg that if the rumor mill was cranking at the normative rate, Jess would be either upset to the point of tears or spitting nails. Knowing his aunt, he'd figured on the latter and was not disappointed.

"I take it that you've heard the rumor you're engaged to our friend, Adam? Good show, Aunt, Dear. We've wanted him in the family officially for some time," he tried to make a joke of it. Bad move.

"Blackwood," she spat. "If you think this is funny — I'll talk to YOUR boss about a lightening bolt or two."

"This is a small town, Aunt Jess," he said calmly. "Getting so upset lets the witches, spell it as you like, win."

"I wouldn't change the spelling," she fumed. "I've always LIKED dogs. It was one darn kiss."

Since no one had talked to Adam yet, he'd figured the two women had just seen Adam and Jess walking, perhaps he'd taken her arm in his, in a strictly gentlemanly fashion. Adam, he had noted, was inclined to be a bit more old world than most modern men. Dashire's influence, to be sure, as well as the others. "So, there was a kiss?" Blackie asked, tensing for another explosion.

"Yes," and she recounted the events leading to it.

"I can't blame him, much, given — well, Candy can tell you more about Penny. I'd kiss you to keep from being hog-tied to the altar with her waiting."

"You're my nephew, that's — ugh."

"Thanks, but my point exactly."

"If you try it, I'll kick you in the shins. And tell your mother."

"Now that is mean. Mom's had to be tough — to outrank the General."

The trip was a short one, so about that time, they pulled up to the duplex Lynne had divided into a home and office. Next door, Helen Wight was watering her roses and waved.

"Most of the people here are like Helen there," Blackie counseled. "Good hearted and kind. Don't let the weirdoes get to you."

"I'll try, " Jess sighed, returning Helen's greeting as she stepped out of the car. "See you tomorrow?"

"Right."

When the door closed behind her, Jess let out a slow breath. She was so angry she was on the verge of tears. Siegfried appearing right in front of her didn't help either.

"Aack!"

"Sorry, I was a bit preoccupied and failed to look where I was popping," he looked abashed, then the English ghost's gaze sharpened. "You look a bit troubled, my dear. Your sister is seeing someone at the moment, could I be of assistance?"

Raking a hand back through her hair, Jess smiled ruefully. "Not unless you can strangle or otherwise wreck mayhem upon close minded, open mouthed, gossiping Gorgons who don't have anything better to do than take minute pieces of information and blow them out of proportion in order to make my life thoroughly — infuriating."

Impressed by her long winded-ness, Siegfried rocked back on his heels. "I fear you have the wrong Matthews brother. The one in charge of chaos is my younger brother, Tristan. However, I can listen?" Gently, he guided her to the kitchen table where the kettle danced in obedience to his silent instructions, pouring the tea he kept warm on the stove. Over their cups, Jess poured out her irritation.

"I'm not EVEN sure I halfway like him, much less... does Lynne keep yeast around...? No forget it, I have pop quizzes to grade, yuck. He didn't call did he?"

Taking a moment to sort out her string of phrases, Siegfried replied, "No, Doctor Avery is not much on cooking — why would you want it? I would be delighted to help you grade the quizzes. And yes, I do have a message from Adam." He smothered a smile on that last bit. "His calendar is free Friday evening, if his place at the poker table can be filled by someone else, and do you like folk music?"

"Yeast makes bread, and I want to pound something. Figured it might as well be constructive pounding, I really don't want to wind up in the jail for pounding who I want to. Depends on the folk music. I shouldn't even call him, it'll stir up rumors — but if I let them dictate who I see... shoot."

"You might try the word 'blast,' my dear. Captain Gregg seems to find it effective, and most of the family has adopted it as well," Sig suggested.

"Blast," she tested. "Yeah. It does sound better than darn. Did you get his number?"

"We already had it," Siegfried smiled, summoning the phone with a wave.


	3. Date With Disaster

1**3-Date With Disaster**

When Friday came, however, Candy called at five to sadly inform Jess that a case was tied up, and the presiding magistrate had announced no one was leaving until matters were settled. He had grudgingly allowed the attorneys to each make a call and let those waiting on them know they weren't coming home for a while.

Lynne was just closing shop for the day as Jess hung up the phone. Seeing her sister's disheartened look, she held her smile in check. _She hadn't decided if she even liked Adam or not? Right. _Hoping to cheer her at least a bit, Lynne suggested, "You know, between Daniel's crew, Molly, and Siegfried, you, as a history teacher have landed on a gold bonanza. Want to go up to Gull Cottage and do some mining?"

"Whatever," Jess shrugged, forcing herself to smile. Until then, she hadn't known she'd been looking forward to the date.

"Coming, Sig?" Lynne asked, grabbing her purse.

"I need to go exercise Seamist, so, not this time. Give my regards to the family. If my brother is there..." he let the phrase hang, leaving the message to the doctor's judgement.

"I think there's a fresh package of carrot sticks in the fridge, if you want to take her a treat," Lynne smiled.

XXX

They took Jess' new car for the short trek to Gull Cottage. Martha let them in, explaining, "Ed has an Elk's meeting tonight, so I thought I'd keep Mrs. Gregg company while the Captain has his weekly game."

"Who's playing tonight?" Lynne asked.

"Light crowd," Martha told her as they skirted the living room to reach the kitchen where Carolyn was working on a baby blanket. "Just Sean, Dash, Tris, and... Claymore. Thom didn't want to make the drive — and Dave has other things on his mind. I don't recall why Blackie isn't here."

"Claymore?" Linden gaped.

"He wants to be one of the guys," Martha laughed.

Jess hadn't known Claymore long enough to exactly see why this was humorous or unusual. As they reached the warmly lit room, Molly and Carolyn looked up, smiling, to welcome the sisters. After a few minutes, Molly frowned, directing a probing look at Jess. "What's wrong, lass?"

"You'll get used to that. Ghosts tend to have a bit more empathetic insight than normal people," Carolyn assured her, seeing the startled look. She didn't add that it would take a blind woman to miss the troubled look in Jess' eyes.

"Oh." There was a long pause. "I guess you've heard the — rumors — about Mister Pierce and me?" Her face grew hot as she said this.

"Aye. My first home with Sean here might now be a commercial laundry," Molly noted wryly, "but some things do not change. Gossip is, unfortunately, one of the things that is constant. I've halfway expected to hear whispers wondering if Sean and I are really married or not."

"Anyone who saw the look on your faces when you saw each other wouldn't ask that," Carolyn grinned. "I've had my own round with the gossip mill, too." With pink cheeks, she recounted her **_Maiden Voyage_** escapade. "I still get the occasional strange look, between that and living in a 'haunted' house."

The kitchen door swung open to let Claymore in as she said that. "What's this about a haunted house? Are you talking about the you know what in the cellar?" Dramatically, he shuddered.

"What do you want, Claymore?" Martha asked, for the ten-thousandth time since first meeting the little man.

"I lost a whole dollar. So, I thought I'd come out here and visit with you. Cut-throat pirates they are in there." So saying, he pulled up a chair, edging out Lynne a bit.

"What 'you-know-what in the cellar'?" Jess asked. She really had to make time to read that book Sean had given her. Tonight would have been good, but it was probably full of HIS name and she didn't want to think about that person.

"The skeleton! You didn't know about that? Well, let me tell you," Claymore beamed, getting into his story. Halfway through, the door swung open behind him to let in an invisible person. Carolyn's senses had become attuned enough to realize it was Daniel, like as not getting drinks or just taking a moment to check on this section of the crew. Claymore actually was fairly accurate, though Martha did ask once WHO had found the confession in the window seat, and he'd mumbled that she and Adam had.

As the story wound to a close, Claymore let out a huff of air. "Of course, it took about a week for me to really calm down after all that excitement. When I did, I realized something." He paused to inject a theatrical moment. "There have been rumors for years and years about this place. Yet, through them all, I had ignored them, kinda."

Obligingly, Jess took her cue and asked what kind of rumors.

"Other than the ghost ones about HIM, the Captain; the ones about the hobo who died in the basement. All this time, they were sort of true! Well. Let me tell you, I nearly passed out when that hit me."

To himself, Daniel thought, _I'd hoped he'd never realize that; I was sure it'd hasten his entry to the afterlife. _Clapping a hand firmly onto his faux relative's reedy shoulder, the Captain declared, "My good man, we had no idea! You might yet live up to your name!"

Perhaps Claymore had not fainted once upon a time, but he looked on the verge of doing it now. "AAAAYYYGH."

A moment later, Tristan appeared to see what the noise was, so Daniel explained.

"Well, Clay, old son, I may have to revise my opinion of you," the younger ghost beamed. "We'll have to take that under advisement."

"I don't trust you, you ghost you," Claymore insisted. "So, just think what you will. Leave me be."

"We were paying you a compliment, " Daniel blinked.

"Yeah. Right. Sure you and he would compliment me. There's a — a catch to it."

"If I say something, I MEAN it," Daniel thundered.

"Ditto!"

Before Claymore could argue or cower, the kitchen became replete with spirits; Sean and Dash appeared, looking for the rest of their game.

"Now I see why you are all in here. Who could resist five lovely ladies?" Dash asked with his best smile.

"Dash, please stop getting the rest of us in trouble for being less debonair," Sean asked.

"No worries, darlin'," Molly smiled up at him. "I'm blarney proof."

"It's not blarney," Dash insisted. Lifting one brow, he asked, "I take it Siegfried didn't wish to lose tonight, eh?"

"He preferred his horse," Lynne easily replied.

"Ah, yes. That brings back fond memories. Tell me, when shall we repeat our ride, dear doctor?"

"When they're ice skating down below." Stabbing a finger in his direction, "I bet Adam was just thinking, 'what would his lordship do?' when he kissed my sister to get away from the — the land-sharks."

"Au contraire," Tristan jumped in. "My esteemed friend and I have a proven, tested method that does not involve kissing less than willing fair ladies. Allow me to demonstrate." With a snap of his fingers, he popped out, then in again. "See? Vanishing has few complications."

Sean grimaced, recalling when he'd caught the two of them doing just that, and the expression left on Margaret Coburn's face.

Without volition, Lynne thought to herself, _Unwilling is a strong word, in some cases. _

"It's just the gossip that bugs me," Jess muttered.

"Aye," Daniel nodded, tugging his ear. "It has always been so. Small minds have long memories and forked tongues."

"On brighter subjects," Carolyn smiled, taking her husband's hand, "Jess is a fresh audience for all your stories, guys, and she wants to hear about them."

"For my class," the teacher clarified. "Well, I'd like to hear them too, but I do have an unselfish reason to go with the selfish one."

"Not selfish at all," Martha nodded. "This crew always loves to talk about themselves. You're sparing the rest of us from hearing it for the ten-thousandth time."

"You wound me, Mrs. Peavey!" Daniel exclaimed.

"Someone has to keep your ego in check," she retorted. "Just don't tell her anything about John Adams or Ben Franklin's grandson."

XXX

It was nearly midnight before Lynne and Jess got home. Siegfried was waiting in a wing chair. "I was beginning to be concerned," he scolded.

Through a yawn, Lynne told him what they'd been doing.

"I should have warned you, engage my baby brother in conversation and your ears are liable to fall off."

"Actually, the Captain and Charlie did the majority of the talking." Dr. Lynne yawned again. "Sorry."

"I shouldn't wonder at the yawn, you were both up very early," Siegfried smiled paternally. "Allow me to pass on a message I took and then I will leave you ladies to retire. Jess, this is from Adam, verbatim; Sorry about tonight. Judge Breckson is notorious for treating her lawyers like erring schoolchildren if she's in a mood, and she was, so kept the entire courtroom full of people 'after class,' as it were. If you will forgive, he would like to try again for tomorrow. Just give him a call in the morning."

"I can't blame him for one person with a bit of power and delusions of grandeur," Jess sighed. "I'll call him in the morning. Have a good ride, Sig?"

"Of course. Now, then, young ladies, to bed. You both look paler than I do."

XXX

At seven, Adam's phone rang. On the fifth ring, the noise penetrated his fogged brain enough for him to answer.

"Hope I didn't get you out of the shower or anything," an apologetic, distantly familiar voice chirped. "I'd have called sooner, but I overslept... Adam? It's me... Jess... are you there?"

By now, he was awake, trying to figure out what time it was. Slept late... was it noon or something? He'd figure it out later. "I'm here," he mumbled. "Jess... sorry..."

"Sig gave me your message... and yeah, I'd like to try for tonight, if that's okay?" Now, she sounded uncertain.

"Sure, great. I'm still a bit — hazy this morning." He shook his head to clear it. "Pick you up about the same time as we were supposed to last night?"

"Great. See you then."

As she hung up, he looked at the clock. Seven oh-four. She slept late? For a Saturday, Adam was now up officially early.

XXX

Thanks to the wake-up call, Adam got a good bit done that day, so that by the time he was ready to head off to Schooner Bay, he felt like he'd earned his evening of fun. As he searched for his keys, the phone rang. If he was smart, he'd ignore it, but what if it was a client? Or if Jess had an emergency and was now canceling? Or Thom had been an idiot again and Candy needed a friend? Or a new skeleton was in the basement somewhere? Or...

The battle of conscience vs. desire was brief; Adam picked up the phone. On the other end, a tremulous voice called his name. Frowning, he acknowledged that he was himself and asked who it was. Unless Tristan was pulling something and using a fake voice, it wasn't his 'family,' and if it was Tris, Adam was going to find a way to kill a ghost.

"Seaman Elroy Applegate, sir. I — I'm lost. Can you come pick me up?"

Glancing at his watch, Adam went over the route to Elroy's mentally. It was sort of on the way to Schooner Bay, just the longer route. "You're in the same house?" If he hurried, he'd be okay time-wise.

"N — n — no. I — I got exercised."

"Do you mean** exorcized**?" Adam sighed. "Where are you?" A hundred questions popped into his mind, but he'd worry about them later.

The place he named was in the opposite direction of where Adam wanted to go. Great. How had the ghost gotten there? Maybe he could call Daniel... and he **was** going to call Lord Dashire and find out WHO had given Elroy his number.

"Please don't tell the guys," Elroy quavered.

Blast. There went that plan. "I'll be there — soon. Stay put." Hanging up, he dialed Lynne's number. "Sig, Adam. Please get Jess. There's a problem." A moment later, she was on the line. "Jess, I hate to do this, but, we need to alter our plans again. I have to go pick up a ghost." The ridiculous statement was said with a matter-of-factness that only Adam Pierce could deliver.

After a long pause, she said slowly, "You have to what?"

"Pick up a ghost. Apparently, he got exorcized and is now wandering around lost." His voice remained level.

"Can't he just — pop?"

"No."

"Because of the exorcism, does that de-power them? It's not Captain Gregg or any of the others is it?"

"You haven't met him, and Elroy can't just pop, it's a long story. So, rain-check?" By now, Adam was nervous.

"No. I've been looking forward to this — and I'm not about to let you off the hook to go pick up a ghost..."

"Trust me, Elroy can't wander around out there — it'd be like tossing a kitten into the middle of a city. A newborn one at that," Adam argued.

"I don't mean abandon Leroy..."

"Elroy."  
"Whoever. Come get me and we'll both go. It's not the date I expected, but it's different."

Telling her she was in the wrong direction would be practical, but Adam didn't want to do that. "I'll be right there. Tell Sig not to mention this to his brother or the others. Not yet."

XXX

Thanks to a shortcut Tristan had shown him, Adam made the trip to Lynne's in the briefest time he ever had. Jess was waiting on the flyer between the Wights and Lynne's homes.

After she was safely in and both were re-buckled, Adam's date asked, "Well? I've skimmed that book Sean gave me, so I kind of know who Elroy is — one of Captain Gregg's crewmen that showed up during the family's second year together? I haven't gotten far enough to know why he'd call you."

"I'm still puzzling out that one myself," Adam admitted. "The condensed version will have to do." With a sideways glance, he saw her nod acceptance. "Of all my parent's kids, I'm the only one that was inclined to take over the family business. Until I actually took over, I didn't know what Lord Dash was, but he did visit our home from time to time. I guess both of us being the youngest son gave us a commonality to begin a friendship, and he helped me on history projects, and so on. From what I hear, we had sort of the same relationship Jonathan and the Captain built. Dash invested wisely during life and after, with funds he hid, so he could afford my dad and grandfather's services, and mine with spare cash. I know, I'm rambling, but not really. I'm answering questions you **will **ask before you do. Anyway, a bit over a decade past, Dash reunited with Captain Gregg, and then Sean. After a few months, Tristan showed up, in the throes of a second or third childhood. I got summoned to drive Elroy up to Gull Cottage in order to divert Tristan's attention into giving Elroy ghost lessons. He'd barely passed Daniel's crash course in ghost-hood a while before, so it was a legitimate project. Elroy couldn't pop that far. Shortly after that, Dash, using his spare funds to make up any difference in my fee and what Carolyn could afford, suggested that I represent Mrs. Muir in her business dealings... the Muirs and Martha were the first people I ever could talk to about knowing ghosts, and vice versa. So, we became good friends, family in the best sense, as Dash would put it. "

"So, I'll take this as a good omen," Jess said after a moment's thought.

"Pardon?"

"Your relationship with the family, more than Lord Dashire, started with picking up Elroy. Maybe it's a good sign for you and me that the first date involves him?"

"Careful. Anything you say has the potential to be used against you... I could take that to imply you like me, a little?"

"Maybe." She held up two fingers less than an inch apart. "A little. C'mon, how many guys will drop everything to go rescue a lost kitty? Metaphorically speaking. And I bet no other girl has had a date like this."

"Not exactly, anyway," he had to agree. "Sorry we're having to go so far out of the way."

With a short laugh, Jess asked, "You never have been to Houston, have you? A detour like this could happen if the Loop is shut down for construction or an eighteen-wheeler overturns on the Eastex Freeway in rush hour. Don't sweat it."

To himself, Adam was sure that she was just being nice. Grimly, he noted as they pulled up to the filling station where Elroy was hiding that by his clock, it was time for the folk concert to start now.

"Wait here," Adam instructed, holding up a hand to cut off the protest Jess had already opened her mouth to make. "He's not like Daniel or the others... he's very timid. It'd be better if he didn't see a stranger right off the bat."

Her nod indicated that Jess was placated somewhat, so Adam got out and looked around. Like as not, Elroy'd gotten stuck in invisibility, again. "Elroy?" he called softly.

Suddenly, the station door opened to let Elroy trundle out to meet Adam. "Mr. Pierce! It's me. Here I am."

"Great," Adam sighed. Remembering his manners, he forced himself to add, "Are you okay? How did you manage to call? Or get my number?"

"The phone book isn't that big, and Tristan did teach me how to read," Elroy nervously replied. "He even showed me where in the book to find your number, and Mrs. Muir's, I mean Gregg's, and Lord Dash's, and Claymore's, and..."

"Okay," Adam interrupted the stream of "ands" before he could cite every member of the family that had a phone. "Where did you get change for the phone?"

"Lying on the ground between here and home. I'd watched TV so I knew that I needed it to make a call."

"That's good Elroy," Adam nodded, leading him toward the jeep. "Now, don't turn invisible, okay?" It was time to let him know a strange "people" as Elroy would term her, was in the car.

"I forgot how to," the ghost confessed miserably.

"Oh. Sorry. Well, I have a friend with me — you haven't met her — don't panic, she won't tell anyone. Jess is Candy's husband's aunt. She's — nice."

"Okay. Why'd she come along?" Elroy asked.

"We were on a date, sort of. Here we are." Adam opened the back door, wondering if the pudgy spook could manage to get that high off the ground into the narrow space.

Jess solved the problem to a degree by jumping out and saying she'd take the back.

"I'm sorry to mess up your date," Elroy moaned.

"Don't fret," Jess shrugged. "I'll just charge Adam interest on the date. How do you feel about pizza, Elroy?"

"I've never had any. Ghosts don't eat much."

To her credit, Jessamyn didn't comment on how his girth belied that statement. Then again, from what she observed, what ghosts did eat didn't affect their waists any more than Elroy's lack of eating did. "I think we need to remedy that. Adam, it'd be a shame to not do anything tonight, wouldn't it?"

Adam Pierce was no fool. "It certainly would be. Tell you what. We'll go back to my place, I'll call in a pizza order and I do have records. We can sort this out there. All in favor..."

"Aye."

"Aye, aye."

Half an hour later, Adam was dialing the phone. "Uh — Jess, what do you like on yours? I thought I'd get two..."

"Why?" Elroy piped up.

"No one likes what I like."

"What is it you like, ace?" Jess asked. "Anchovies and caviar?"

"Jalapeno peppers, double."

"Just order one, unless you're really hungry then."

"You like — "

"I'd ask for cayenne, but I doubt they have it."

"Middle cabinet over the sink," Adam rattled off. "Before cinnamon and chile' powder. Sig got on a tear and organized my kitchen, your sister's, Candy's..."

"I bet he didn't make it to Blackie's. Even a ghost could have a heart attack in there," Jess chuckled as she headed to the kitchen. "May I bring the chile' powder, too?"

"If it looks hot, bring it," Adam replied happily.

"Uh — do you have ice cream? My mouth's getting hot just listening," Elroy stammered. "Or soda?"

After the pizza arrived and was doctored to both human's satisfaction, Elroy began his story, pausing often to take a sip of water.

"Well, you know I found a nice little cottage, not like Gull Cottage, but a tiny little place, to haunt. A little old lady lived there, and it was nice. After Tristan gave me spooky lessons, I could haunt her and help her out, once in a while. She wasn't a scary people. But, she was old, and got sick. Her kids didn't know I was there. Tristan'd taught me how to be quiet." He did not notice how Adam's brows shot up at the concept of Tristan being quiet. "So, they said she needed to go to an — an — assisted — living — fac-facility. I think I got it right. Then, it was lonely there. I was worried about her, but I didn't know where they took her. Anyway, one day, the sons and daughters or maybe they were in law peoples, came and started packing up. I heard'm say they were selling the place, so I got mad and started trying to make them go away. I used every trick I could think of that Tristan or the Captain would do. I even took off my head."

On that image, Jess placed her half-eaten slice back on her paper plate and took a sip of ginger ale.

"The next day, yesterday, they came back with a medium and exorcized," he got that word out with difficulty, pronouncing it as Adam had when correcting him, "me."

"Elroy, you didn't have to go," Adam gently told him, recalling what Siegfried had said about his own exorcism. Most ghosts who were exorcized left because their feelings were hurt or they were annoyed. Exorcism was for evil, not hapless spooks.

"It was scary," the seaman quavered. "And noisy. And I forgot how to do anything I got so scared. I know Captain Gregg and Tristan'll be mad at me for forgetting what to do, but I couldn't help it."

"They'll understand that, Elroy. And they will know how to help you, better than I could. I don't know anything about being a ghost," Adam attempted persuasively. "Why, I heard Molly O'Casey herself say she wished there was a course on how to be a ghost..." Adam paused, frowning. Half an idea tweaked at his brain, but first things first. The proper order was to convince Elroy to go to — Tristan was still helping out at Dave's. Personally, Adam thought that the Farnons were trying to help their friend more than vice versa... and Elroy around a newborn was not a good plan. The O'Casey's were still "catching up." Dash was at Candy's again, so he was really the closest, but he knew Dash had deferred on teaching Daniel anything. He might not be the best teacher for Elroy. Siegfried did not strike Adam as a patient tutor. That left Daniel. Besides, Daniel was the boss. So, the first thing was to get him to Gull Cottage.

"Look, personally if I found out later that someone I considered a friend had kept the fact that another friend was forcibly evicted from me, I'd yell at them. I really don't want Daniel to yell at me."

"He yells good," Elroy nodded with a wince.

"Yes, he does. Just ask Claymore," Adam sensed a win. "So, would you consider letting me drive you to Gull Cottage? I am certain Daniel will know what to do. If he doesn't by some weird chance, then he can call Lord Dashire, Sean, Tristan, Molly, and Siegfried. Between them, surely they will know what to do."

"The vacuum lady doesn't live there anymore?" Elroy asked, beginning to cave.

"Martha is at home with Ed. She won't suck you up her Eureka. And if she is there, she doesn't use as many peppers as I do when she cooks." Adam knew he almost had achieved victory, he just had to clench the deal. "And Dakota does not bark as much as Scruffy. You could probably have your own room since all the kids have moved out. I don't have a guest room, just the sofa." Actually, his mattress was so old that the sofa was better. Replacement was a hassle.

"Okay," Elroy finally sniffled. Jess handed him a tissue packet from her gigantic purse.

"Soon as we're done, we'll drive up to Gull Cottage. Let me give Carolyn a call, make sure they're home."

This time, Adam made the call from his bedroom. When he returned, Jess had cleaned up the slight mess. "You look cheery."

"I'm getting the other spare room at Gull Cottage tonight. It made no sense to Carolyn for me to drive all that way then home then back in the morning. I agree."

"Don't forget Amberly's present when you're packing your shave stuff and whatever else men need," Jess advised.

"Who?" Elroy asked.

"Jenny had her baby, one week ago, well in few hours, one week ago," Adam said.

"That's a pretty name," Elroy sighed. "Can we go now?"

"Just let me obey Jess, then yeah."

XXX

Before making the drive to Gull Cottage, Adam took Jess home. Telling Elroy to wait a minute, he walked her up the path to Lynne's door.

As she started to fish out her keys, he stopped her. "Thanks, Jess."

"For reminding you to grab the gift? I've been shifting the one I bought around in my purse all week. No problem," she grinned, shrugging off the words.

"That too, but more for... everything," Adam smiled ruefully. "It was a — "

"The best and worst of times," softly she replaced his self-deriding comment. Then, impulsively, before she could lose her nerve, kissed him on the cheek a second before shoving her key in the lock and slipping inside.

Bemused, Adam stared at the door for a few seconds, then walked back to Elroy cooling his heels in the jeep.

Until Carolyn handed him a tissue with an amused, yet pointed glance at his cheek, Adam had no idea that there was lipstick there.


	4. What to Do With a Ghost

4-What To Do With a Ghost?

The next morning, Adam was up unusually early, but he was used to it on Sundays — since Blackwood at taken over the preaching anyway. In fact, he was up before Carolyn, since his internal clock factored in a longer drive in determining his rising time.

He found Daniel making coffee in the 'galley.' "Where's Elroy?"

"I found some busy work for him in the cellar. Alphabetizing the preserves and such," Daniel replied, floating a cup to the attorney. "I suggested he do it manually, for now." Wryly, he tugged his ear. "Levitation held too much potential for disaster."

"You mean Sig missed your supplies?" Adam chuckled.

"I rearranged hastily. Had to find something quiet for him to do."

"True." Suddenly, Adam's coffee cup became a matter for in-depth study. Daniel waited patiently until the younger man awkwardly continued, "Captain... Jess was great last night. We've had two dates that were totally — fubared, but she took both very well, even helped with Elroy. How many women would take him in stride and even seem to enjoy the whole bollixed evening?"

"How many could you have told why the date was deep-sixed?"

"Precisely. Not until now have I been able to tell a date about the best part of my life. Or even really wanted to, to be honest. She infuriates me, at least half the time, but I like her. I know you have a lot of — expertise in the area... and I need help."

"As in _like her_," Daniel asked, hoping that he had the right meaning of like this time. Candy had taken the time to instruct him on the various usages of the word, but why couldn't they invent different words to convey assorted concepts.

"Maybe," Adam sighed. "But — I wouldn't blame her if she never spoke to me again, or agreed to see me — socially beyond family stuff. How can I make up for those two dates? And the Shoemaker incident?"

Now it was Daniel's turn to be silent for a few seconds, eternal ones to the young man waiting for his counsel. Finally, he gave him a paternal smile. "Adam, from what I've seen, you have nothing to be concerned about. However, if it will make you feel better, let me tell you about my 'dating' experience with Carolyn, since that is the most recent and successful, ultimately." He recounted fondly the trials and the comedy of errors their first real 'date' had been. Shaking his head, Daniel concluded, "If the success of our relationship depended on our dates, we'd have been KO'd at the outset. In the end though, it wasn't what we did, simply being together, that was what made the dates wonderful. I was grateful, I will admit, if you don't tell them I said it, to Tristan and Dave for the chances to chaperone their dances and a movie or so with Candy and Jenny. It was a less complex shot at dating for my lady and me."

"I'm not looking to marry her, just..." Adam trailed off, not sure what to say for once.

"Of course not," Daniel grinned, thinking, _just as I was not ever going to be in the poodle set. _

Adam gave him a sharp look, almost as if he read the ghost's mind. "Got any wrapping paper? I did remember Amberly's gift, but I forgot that."

"One advantage to being married. The ladies are good at that," Daniel nodded, popping in a roll of bright paper.

"Thanks. Now I'll practice my origami," he scowled at the paper. _Was this step necessary? _that frown asked silently. In less than a minute, the paper would be shredded into strips that would cover nothing, besides, there was no way to wrap a book so that it didn't look like one. Therefore, he wasn't really concealing what the thing was. Furthermore, Amberly, whom the gift was for, was too young to know what a book or a present was.

"Women seem to enjoy all the added touches that are part and 'parcel' of the whole gifting ritual," Daniel chuckled.

"Did you read my mind?" Adam asked.

"No. But in a hundred-odd years, one gets to know how to read people. I admit, most of my experience has been in the last decade or so," Daniel shrugged, handing him scissors and tape while levitating the coffee away from the table so it would not be knocked onto anything. "Your expression was eloquent. Speaking of gifts, a small one might be worth considering for Jess, to express your appreciation of her finer qualities."

"I'm starting to remember why I haven't dated often. There are too many rules," Adam groused. "I should have done this at work."

"You mean had Candy do it at work," Daniel essayed shrewdly.

Adam didn't deny it, just changed the subject. "Any progress on the other front?" His glance at the cellar door made his meaning crystal clear.

"I intend to consult with the crew. I admit, when I had charge of the matter, my main thought was to discharge it with all possible speed. Tristan did what he could, I'm sure... Dash is no teacher, nor is Siegfried. Sean and Molly are patient souls, but..."

"They're on their honeymoon," Adam concluded. "I had similar thoughts. Too bad Jess isn't a ghost. She's a teacher."

"That could interfere with your plans," Daniel observed.

"What plans?" a voice asked, making both of them turn. Elroy had come into the room.

"Just giving Adam some romantic advice," Daniel replied in a slightly teasing tone.

"I don't have plans," Adam insisted. "Get the jelly all sorted?"

"Uh huh, I mean, aye, aye..."

Before he could say more, Dakota sauntered into the kitchen to give the door a pointed look.

"I'll take her," Adam offered. "Blast, where'd I put my sneakers?"

"I shined them. They're in the cellar. I'll go get them." The first half of him popped out. "Darn." Then the second half followed.

"Sorry," Daniel mouthed.

"Maybe it'll wash out," Adam sighed. When the hapless spirit returned, he slipped on the footwear that looked as if it had been dipped in liquid paper now then clicked Dakota's leash on her neck.

"I'm going upstairs. Carolyn will wake soon," Daniel said. "Elroy, stay out of trouble. Just-read the _Beacon._"

XXX

As the dog and her guide walked up the porch steps after a brief run, Adam decided Martha must have arrived while he was out, although it was the wrong day and time. Something smelled good. Waffles or pancakes, one.

Cheered, he followed Dakota, who'd smelled bacon and wanted inside immediately if not sooner, into Gull Cottage where he found, not Martha Peavey, but Elroy Applegate, manning the stove, capably from the looks of it. Not wanting to mis-speak, he did not express surprise, just acknowledged Elroy's inquiry about the walk with a positive comment. However, seeing the startled flickers in Daniel and Carolyn's eyes gratified him. He wasn't the only one out of the loop on this one.

The only possible complaint would be that Elroy went slightly overboard and made enough batter to feed a baseball team of teen-aged boys.

"They'll freeze though," Elroy informed them with more certainty than anyone had ever heard from the ghost.

"Great. Mind if I take some home then?" Adam asked.

"Please do," Carolyn smiled.

Dakota shot him a look that said, _fine, just don't touch the bacon._

"We probably should offer Lynne or Blackie some as well," Daniel noted in amusement under his breath.

"Jenny too. Martha's been doing some extra cooking for her, but..." Carolyn agreed.

"Jenny needs a cook?" Elroy asked. "Can I help?"

Tugging his ear, Daniel promised to look into it. However, everyone who needed to get moving in order to get ready in time for church had best hop to it.

XXX

As he entered the little church, Adam's restless eyes sought out the other members of his cobbled together family. He didn't see the Farnons, but hadn't expected to. However, Tristan was there. Good, he'd be a help keeping Elroy out of trouble. The Peaveys were there, with Ed looking like the tie was choking him. Thom and Candy were on the front row with Dashire looking as natty as ever. The two men's eyes collided as they scanned the crowds and found the two sisters at the same time. Dr. Lynne and Jess made their way up the aisle toward Thom and Candy while Sig propelled himself in his brother's direction. The O'Casey's came in behind the Greggs; Adam didn't know they were there until Sean exclaimed, "Elroy, long time no see. How have you been?"

"Steady," Daniel's low tone instructed the startled ghost, warning him subtly not to fade out.

With effort, Elroy stopped himself after paling just a bit. "H — hello Mister O'Casey, sir. Mrs. O'Casey, sir — er — Ma'am."

"Adam, would you see if Tristan would care to sit with us?" Carolyn asked.

"Aye, aye," the attorney winked.

As he moved off, he heard Molly softly telling Elroy not to worry, just read the program and follow along with it.

XXX

After Blackie's sermon, delivered with stern, yet twinkling eyes, on Phillipians 4:8, Paul's charge to think on whatever is fair, lovely and so on, Adam separated from Daniel and Carolyn. He needed to reassure himself that Jess wasn't just being nice so as to get away from him and the craziness of the last night gracefully. He found her, tapping her foot softly, waiting while her sister was inviegled into giving Deke a medical consultation, gratis.

"Jess?" he called quietly.

Relief flooded her face as she found a good reason to step away from her impatient waiting. "Hi," she grinned so warmly that it could only be genuine. "How's...?"

"Fine." With a jerk of his head, Adam indicated where their third wheel was. "Turns out he's quite the cook. Get him around a stove and the Klutz is gone."

Jess' brows lifted. "Well, I don't think they had career aptitude tests when — er — where Elroy grew up..." She smiled ruefully at her near slip. "But — did anyone ever think he might be a cook, not a sailor?"

"Seaman," Adam corrected with a teasing shake of his finger. "'Sailor' is a landlubber's term."

"Guess what? I'm a landlubber," she jibed. "It's still worth thinking about."

"That won't solve his main problem," Adam muttered. "C'mon. Let's run your idea by the boss. Right after I get Dash to rescue your sister."

As it happened, Dash had just walked over, a glint in his eye at seeing the two of them standing so close in consultation. "Adam, old son. Hardly ever see you anymore. Jessamyn.."

"Dash," Adam cut him off with a glare, "Dr. Avery is right there, and last time we talked, you wanted to ask her about something or other. So... now looks like an excellent opportunity. Show her a baby picture, or something."

On that note, Adam grabbed Jess by the arm, ignoring Jane's eyes cutting in his direction. He wished she'd convert to some other denomination though. Deftly, he led her to where Daniel, Carolyn, Martha and Ed were chatting. Siegfried had taken Elroy to the cookie table.

"Tell them your idea," Adam invited her.

"I think Elroy is in the wrong career," Jess whispered. "Maybe... Adam told me he's a good cook. If he could do that, he might be fine. Just forget the nautical stuff."

"Not a bad idea. Even he's..." Martha nodded toward Daniel, "...explored other vocations, lately."

"Yeah, but would that cure him of all of it?" Ed asked. "I've seen'm, and he doesn't have to be doing sea stuff to get... y'know."

Regardless of the damage it'd do her hair, Jess raked a hand through her tresses. "Well, I can't do anything about the other part. I am a fair cook though."

"Really?" Martha beamed. "I've heard how good Texas cookbooks are, would you consider sharing some recipes?"

"Anytime."

"Wonderful. Reverend O'Ryan wants me to be in charge of putting together a fund-raising cookbook. Adam, can I borrow your friend?" Martha asked.

"You'll have to ask her," he blinked, disconcerted by the manner in which Martha phrased the query.

"I'd love to help," Jess nodded, moving away from Adam to follow Martha over to where Blackie was.

"Would one of you get her home? The baseball game starts in fifteen minutes," Ed said. "Once those women start gabbing..."

"We'll make sure she's home safely, Ed," Carolyn promised with a pat on his arm as the retired painter walked off. "Sweetheart, do you think you and Tristan can... ah..."

Tugging his ear, Daniel frowned. "I am thinking we will need to employ outside assistance."

"Is that wise? Candy mentioned that her grandparents and a couple of cousins will be here next week," Adam asked. "I've considered seeing if Tristan wants to stay in Skeldale for a few days."

"Tristan can behave, and the person I am thinking of calling upon," Daniel smiled grimly, "is far better at this sort of thing than any of us, Dash included."

Only a woman thoroughly in love as Carolyn Gregg (Miles) could get away with looking so delighted over seeing another man. "Oh, we haven't seen him in ages!"

"Yes, you have. He was at Candy's wedding and ours," Daniel grinned impishly. "Trying out new faces."

In a gesture that mimicked her husband, Carolyn pinched the bridge of her nose. "I wish he wouldn't do that."

Molly came up then. "What's Tristan done now?"

"Not Tristan, Fontenot's coming," Adam grinned.

"Well, 'tis about time I met this guru," Molly huffed. "But, I should have expected ye to think of it when our friend from out of town arrived." Then, she shook her head. "Excuse me. I see 'Clay' stuffing his pockets with cookies. I didna bake half of yesterday for that skinflint's sole benefit."

"Tell him I authorize you to tie him to any available mizzenmast," Daniel instructed.

"Aye," she sighed. "And I'll remind him that Doctor Lynne told him to mind his cholesterol and such."

While Molly went after Claymore, Carolyn smiled broadly. "Daniel, there's several family members who haven't met our benefactor. I want to have him over to meet everyone he hasn't met before he starts his — project."

"If he will do it," Daniel advised. "I'm sure he will, he does enjoy helping others of our — generation — adapt. Your family arrives on Friday? I'll ask if he can come Thursday, at the latest."

"I thought he was better at... ahem... than you?" Adam asked.

"He is, but the sooner he arrives, the sooner other matters are attended to."

"True. Well, let me know, when. That is, if I may invite myself. Now, we'd best move along, before anyone comes over and wants to chit-chat."

Sure enough, seeing a fresh opportunity, Margaret Coburn nee Sharpe was aiming for Adam.

"Bye," he hastily told the Greggs as he rushed as casually as possible to the door. On his way, he tossed Jess a wave. She grinned back and winked.

Adam's last glimpse of the milling pocket crowds was Margaret changing course to target poor Siegfried.

XXX

Tuesday evening, Molly invited everyone over to the O'Casey home for a buffet dinner. It would be more cramped than Gull Cottage, or even the home Dave had fallen heir to when his parents lit out to Australia, but Mrs. O'Casey insisted that it was her turn. With a buffet style, seating was less a factor, and people could come and go as they pleased, neatly accommodating the Farnon's baby-ruled schedule and Adam's longer drive. Thom and Candy were passing on the dinner, however. Mr. Avery wanted to take his wife out on a date again.

As things worked out, Adam arrived about the same time as Jess. He'd closed up shop early so Candy could have time to get ready.

"Sis's running late," she announced as he walked over in time to help her from her car. "One of James' patients was not happy, and let it be known. She's patching him up."

"And here I thought when that practice opened, it'd be handy just for their patients," Adam smirked. "What's in the jar?"

"Nosy," she scolded playfully. "Jalapeno jelly. I made it Sunday afternoon."

Silently, he mouthed her words. "Never heard of it."

"Not very hot, but thought it might be something different to bring. So... is this an occasion?"

Adam smiled. "Not that I know of. Unless Molly is giving a surprise early anniversary of the Muirs moving into Gull Cottage party for Carolyn and Daniel, in which case, Thom will be in trouble for taking Candy out tonight. I guess it'll have to be cancelled this year, with the invasion beginning Friday."

"Invasion?" Now, it was Jess' turn to be mystified.

"Relatives arriving. Can't very well celebrate a spectral event around people who don't know there are ghosts."

"Makes sense. Uh — look, as a faculty member, I'm expected to show up for the football games and such, now and then... would you maybe be interested in sometimes showing up... with me?"

"Well..." he drawled, dragging out the moment. "Only for you. I'm not as interested in that stuff as Ed. Would it be considered a date?"

"If you want to call it that, yeah."

"I think — that I would like to, call it that. Of course," he smirked, pausing before knocking on the O'Casey door, "I have it on reliable authority that if you are on such an expedition with someone you like, really like, it is considered... proper to possibly kiss them. Would that be acceptable?"

"If you don't require witnesses," Jess shot back, darting around him to knock.

Sean opened the door before Adam could reply. "I wondered if you two were just going to camp out here all evening."

"Just — settling something," the lawyer hedged. "Who's here?"

"Molly and Elroy are in the kitchen. He's taken to that like a duck to water, Jess. Thank you for that. Martha is fidgety over not being allowed in there with them, or she was until the Princess and her escorts arrived. Now, she's just being a doting 'aunt.' Ed's trying to look unaffected, but he'd fooling no one. Carolyn's managed to convince Jenny to let her hold Amberly. Blackwood's over with Daniel debating something or other. I think they pried Dave away from his women to join them on the discussion. I've got door duty. Dash is making the rounds, but keeps looking like he's keeping watch for someone. I take is Sig is still assisting your sister? Thought so. And Tristan has been drafted into helping out fetching things from the kitchen to the tables."

"Candy sends her regrets, and I am sure Thom does as well, but I haven't talked to him today."

Sean shrugged. "I think I'll hand door duty over to Dash, since there's just two out now."

"What about Claymore?" Jess asked as Sean took the proffered green jelly jar.

"He's passing on tonight. He can only take so many spooks so often." The handsome Irishman winked. "Truth is, I think he is avoiding any opportunity to be reminded that there is a gift giving occasion that might require him to spend money."

"That's Claymore," Adam agreed. "Now, I haven't seen my latest niece in a while... so pardon me."

"He could make a good da, sometime," Sean noted. Either Jess simply chose not to take his bluff or missed the point, because she asked if Molly could use a hand or not. "She wants to run the show. So, let me put Dash on watch, officially, and I'll get you a drink? Have a seat wherever."

Within ten minutes, Lynne and Sig blew in. Just as Sean got them settled and Tristan finished his fetch-and-carry duty, there was a knock on the door.

"Think Claymore decided to show up?" Dave asked as he tried to calm his daughter who was getting a bit fussy with all the people there.

"That'd be cool," Elroy beamed. "I can scare him."

"Elroy, you don't need to scare anyone tonight, not even him," Daniel advised. "Dave, let me try with her."

"Isn't she a bit young to be charmed by you?" Martha asked.

"No woman is too young to be charmed," Daniel smiled, taking the child from her reluctant father. Meanwhile Sean headed to the door again.

"Well, I wondered when you'd arrive," Sean's cheerful voice declared. "Come on in, then."

So saying, he led a very tall man with iron gray hair and steely, yet kind eyes into the agreeably crowded home. At once, Blackie knew he was a ghost, as did Jess, but she frankly didn't care what he was. Even as magnificent as the specters she had met were, this one blew her away with his sheer presence. Her normally cool, collected sister even looked a bit disconcerted as did Molly. Who was this fellow?

Adam's voice penetrated her senses. "Happens every time," he chuckled.

Carolyn had risen and started to cross the room, but the ghost shook his head. "No, a beautiful woman never goes to meet a man. She lets him do all the work." He glanced around the room. "Captain, your crew has expanded in its beauty since I was last here. Four more delightful ladies. Dear me, I may have to rethink my solitariness." With a sweeping bow to all the ladies, he introduced himself. "I'm Fontenot, just Fontenot."

"Hardly just," Martha said decisively.

"We've missed you, old friend," Daniel nodded.

"My services are highly in demand, so when I do get a chance for privacy, it is treasured. Yet, you..." Now he looked from the Captain to the other what Candy had once called musketeers, "...are my brothers... and I always know when you have need of me."

"A drink for you?" Sean offered.

"Yes, thank you. If it would be possible, a vodka martini, dry, with a bit of lemon." Now, his warm eyes turned to look at the little girl in Daniel's arms, who was still softly crying. "Now, isn't she brilliant?" Crossing the room in two strides, arms extended, he asked, "May I?"

Daniel gingerly handed Amberly to his mentor. "Lovely," he smiled approvingly as the child calmed instantly. "Jenny, she's as beautiful as her mother. I see she has your ears."

Ruffling his wife's hair, Dave grinned, "Now, love, I suggest you reconsider your statement that her ears are funny-looking."

"Who ever said I like mine?" she asked, blushing.

"I like them," he insisted.

"Someone likes someone else," Adam commented, noting how Amberly seemed to be aware of Fontenot and approve.

"As my dear Martha noted, isn't she young to be aware enough to be charmed?" Dash asked.

"Depends on what a girl has to be aware of, Charlie," Lynne winked.

Fontenot's brow lifted a bit during this exchanged, but he made no comment, focused completely on soothing the baby. When she dropped off, he handed her to Jenny so that he could be introduced to the newcomers. When Daniel led him to Elroy, the trembling ghost had almost faded out again. However, he found his voice to ask, "Are you the man who'll make me into a good ghost?"

Fontenot shook his head. "No, Elroy. I will not **make** you anything. I can not do that. Only God can change someone into something else." He glanced toward Blackie who was nodding approval. "However, if you work hard, apply yourself to what I teach you, I will help you become the real you."

"I wanted to be better than that," Elroy confessed miserably.

"Elroy, don't be silly," Jess spoke up. "The real you is just fine. You just need to get there."

Before Elroy could argue, Fontenot held up a hand. "First lesson, never argue with a lovely woman. Second lesson. all women are in some way, lovely."

"What if two women argue?" Tristan asked.

"The men would be well advised to flee until the storm passes," Daniel chuckled.

"Indeed," Fontenot nodded. Abruptly shifting topics, he looked to Molly. "I do see why Sean was so determined to find you. He is a fortunate man."

"Go on with you," she demurred, her face as red as her hair. "Now, all of you, come on. Elroy and I've been busy and don't let it go to waste."

Once her awe had passed, Jess had a million questions, as usual. "Fontenot is a coo — er — Cajun name," she started off. "You do not look Cajun."

"I thought I heard the South in your voice," Fontenot nodded. "Actually, I think I may be Scottish, perhaps a bit of Swiss blood too. I honestly do not know. My parents, whom I barely recall, lost me to the Gypsies wandering through Europe. They, in turn, took me on a boat to the New World, as it was called then, and sold me to a group of Acadians in Nova Scotia who adopted me, so I took their name. That was — over three centuries ago."

"And no one knows what he looks like, exactly," Carolyn told her. "I'm a bit put out with you, showing up at Candy's wedding, and mine without letting us know."

"If you'd spotted me I would have admitted who I was," he grinned. "Daniel knew I was there. I am sorry that young Candace and her husband are not here, but I understand too. I'm sure, given his charming mother and aunt, that he's a good sort."

"That can be debatable," Blackie reflexively jibed.

"Blackwood, teasing your kin works better when they are around," Siegfried counseled.

"No need to demonstrate," Tristan cut in.

"So, what DID you look like?" Carolyn asked before the Matthews brothers could get into an epic battle.

One second, a very debonair, older gentleman was sitting across from the Captain's lady. The next, with not even a ripple in the air to mark the shift, a slightly less handsome, younger man, around Adam's age, with light brown hair and matching beard covering his broad smile was in his place. Then, he was taller, thinner, with a scantier beard and older, more regal mien. "I did a different look for each." Then, he was the self they had come to know again.

"And we never caught on," Carolyn shook her head. Turning her head to look at her best mortal friend, she half laughed, "Lynne, I saw Fontenot there, but I thought he was one of your guests."

The doctor shook her head, a tiny smile playing at the edge of her lips. "I wish!" she declared fervently.

To Daniel and Sean's amusement, they noted Dash shooting his mentor an irritated look for half a second.

"When do we leave?" Elroy asked, eager to get started now.

"Immediately," Fontenot declared, until he spotted the coconut pie Molly had levitated in from the kitchen. "Almost immediately."

As the evening began to wind down, Daniel rose. "Do you still like a good cigar, Fontenot?"

"Aye."

Just as Daniel hoped, Molly glared at him. "Captain or no, guru or no, you'll not be stinking up my house with that. Outside."

"Yes, Ma'am," he smiled. "Tristan, come along. You've existed this long without even trying one. That needs to be corrected."

Sean and Dash recognized that their Captain wished to discuss something with the other two, so did not attempt to go along, just stayed to dissuade anyone else from doing so.

Lynne shook her head. "I don't suppose their lungs can be hurt, can they?"

"I'm afraid, dear doctor, all your medical lectures are quite useless in regard to us," Dash smiled. "However, speak on. Your fair voice enchants us, even if it is merely discussing anatomy and physiology."

"Oh, be quiet. We all know you are well nicknamed," she laughed. At his mystified look, she clarified, "Most everyone calls you 'Dash' — which implies that you are dashing, a fact that is quite apparent. You don't need to keep proving it."

Jess stage whispered, "That was a compliment, for her."

"Thank you."

XXX

Outside, Fontenot gave Daniel an amused look. "I don't think you asked the boy and me out here to smoke."

"I hope not. I don't want to," Tristan said.

Tugging one ear, Daniel smiled, "Well, if you want one, I can get a cigar or pipe. But, no. I did not want to embarrass anyone. Fontenot, speaking for myself, I know I did my best to teach Elroy. I am certain Tristan did as well."

"I did, but it was rather — well, impossible beyond a certain point," Tristan sighed, sitting on an invisible chair and resting his head on one hand.

"I fear that being forcibly exorcized only set him back, possibly further than he was when either of us started working with him," Daniel went on, with Tristan nodding confirmation. "How much of an impossible task have we asked of you?"

Fontenot frowned, considering the issue for a long moment. "Well, you are both right. Elroy is quite impossible. That is quite apparent, even in this short time. He has no confidence outside of the kitchen, and none in his own ghost-hood. He seems to feel more comfortable doing things as a mortal would, but lacks the strength to do so without help. His main usefulness might be to give Claymore confidence — that he is better than someone at something."

The Captain and Tristan exchanged crestfallen looks. Then, Fontenot added, "BUT, it is a doable endeavor."

"Really?" Tristan asked hopefully.

"If I say it, I mean. I doubt we can do it in two weeks, he is not as able as you, Daniel Gregg. But, it will be done. You might try locating a haunt for him for afterwards."

"We can deal with that," Daniel said.

Shortly after the three men went back inside, the evening broke up; Adam had a long drive, it was a school night for Jess, Amberly needed to get home and fed, and so on. Nonetheless, they were all a bit sorry for the evening to end. With only two more days before the kin began descending, it felt more of a treat to just be together.

Perhaps it would not be too terrible.


	5. Aunt Batty in the Belfry

Aunt Batty in the Belfry

Part II

The next two weeks alternated between terrible, tolerable, tiring, pleasant, and hectic. Dave's parents flew in from Australia late Thursday, this time, Adam did not have to pick them up at the airport. When they arrived, he was at a high school football game with Jessamyn. Tristan would have moved into Gull Cottage, but Brad and Emily Williams and the Terrible Two, Harriet and Hazel, were occupying every available guestroom there. So, he found himself haunting the parsonage. Siegfried would have insisted on "baby brother" haunting at his place, but even though ghosts don't take up a lot of room, two women and two ghosts would have seemed crowded in Lynne's relatively small house. As usual, Brad and the cousins drove Daniel up a wall with questions, when they weren't visiting the newest family member, or driving to Skeldale to drive Thom and Candy insane, especially with inevitable sidelong glances and less than subtle hints that it would be nice if Amberly had a little cousin in a few months. The ghosts all found it especially frustrating to not be able to pop in and out at will. Granted it was nice to see them, but in such a protracted dosage, was wearing. Adam, ever the student of history, naturally muttered a comment or two about guests and fish, as Ben Franklin had noted once. Claymore would have found the lack of spectral activity relaxing, except he was forced to lay especially low so as not to be questioned himself, since he could be remembered as the "Captain." Finally, Amberly's christening came and went, signaling time for the various in-laws and out-laws to disperse.

Now, they could all relax and their lives or afterlives could become normal as they ever got again.

Or so the family fancied.

The day after the last guest had departed, Daniel Gregg found his wife with a troubled expression on her face when he returned from a "Parent/Teacher conference" with Fontenot about Elroy's slow progress.

"Whatever is the matter, my dear?" he asked, taking her in his arms. "Surely you aren't missing — everyone? I was rather looking forward to resuming our privacy."

"Well, I hate to tell you this, but it's about to be — " she began, wincing when the thunder anticipated her next words.

"Not that scalawag Thompson, again?" Daniel fumed. "Ralph coming back to steal more of my Madeira? Or — "

"No," she sighed. "I just got calls from both Candy and Jenny..."

"What's wrong?" Paternal concern overrode his ire in a second.

"Jenny is ahead of us on the mail route, and Skeldale is as well...so I'm sure it will be confirmed in triplicate when the postman arrives here... Aunt Dotty is coming, and she's bringing — the monstrosity. She has chosen our house for her headquarters, but expects to see both girls during her time here... which will be as long as it takes to complete her project. This project has lasted the last fifteen years or more."

A dozen questions popped into the Captain's mind. Grabbing one at random, he asked, "What is the — monstrosity, love?"

"The couch... the one she has been re-covering for the last fifteen blasted years, at the least. It's not nearly finished, either."

Once Carolyn said the word "couch" Daniel knew to anticipate stormy seas. "Would you like to tell me about it?" he offered, leading her to the living room.

"Not long before Bobby — ran into the tree, he inherited his grandfather's sofa. It was a bit shabby, but it was classic. I didn't think it was worth the bother of moving it home; he did not agree. My Aunt Dotty was visiting at the time and overheard our 'discussions' on the matter." Carolyn paused to collect her thoughts. "She instructed Bobby to bring it home and she'd look at it. When she saw it, she agreed with him, that it was a **_wonderful_** couch, and insisted that we get fresh material and she would re-upholster it. It took some time for us to find material she approved of, but we did, and on her insistence, shipped the seat cushions and the material to her. Not long after that, Bobby had his encounter with the tree. The sofa became the last thing on my mind. Not hers. She came back and tried to work on it, but you remember the chaos after Jack and Laura died — it was just as bad or worse after Bobby died, so working was impossible for her. She took the whole thing with her that time. Back cushions, frame, cloth, seats, all of it. It was good riddance."

"I don't recall ever meeting her," Daniel frowned.

"She was very angry with me for moving, for not letting her advise me on how to bring up my children, and so on. So, I haven't heard from her since coming here, until now. I guess — she must be nearly eighty or more. Maybe she's decided to mend fences before she dies. Candy and Jonathan barely remember her, but she made a lasting impression on Candy anyway. Jack was her nephew also, and didn't get written off, so Jenny's only crime has been moving in with me. She's not any more thrilled than Candy. Dear goodness, I hope she doesn't become a ghost!" Carolyn paled at the even dim chance of that happening. "We'd never get rid of her!"

"If she's mending fences, then wouldn't she be — nicer?" Daniel suggested.

"Her idea of 'mending fences' is giving us a chance to obey her again. Candy read me her letter, and she said the original material Bobby picked out is too worn, so when she arrives, Jenny, Candy, and I are to be prepared to make a trip to the largest fabric store we can find and pick out new material."

"Why all three of you?" the Captain asked.

"Because she is not sure which one of us will get the couch. She understands from Harriet that I have a new couch — a ten-year-old new couch — "

"I suppose it depends on one's basis of comparison," the ghost chuckled tentatively.

"And Dave's sofa is also relatively new; he has Jack's, and it was brand new when — when Jenny came here. However, Hazel did tell her what a large, fine home Candy and Thom have, so the monstrosity should fit there, nicely, only she did not call it a monstrosity, of course."

"Revamping Dash's house without his permission," Daniel mused. "That should be interesting to see. He's become complacent since he hasn't had to fight relatives."

"I don't think **Fontenot** could stand up to her," Carolyn sighed. "Trust me, she's — let me put it this way, in a day or two it will be October, the month witches are supposed to love, and that **is** appropriate." Mrs. Gregg's eyes closed. "I have to call Martha, there's no way we can get the house in shape in four days without her help."

Daniel looked around. "What's wrong with my ship?"

"Nothing, but she won't see it like that. It needs to be spotless... maybe Dakota should be boarded at the Wights while she's here..."

"If Dakota truly needs to be out of the way, and I would rather not do that, Sean and Molly can take her until she can return," Daniel corrected. "I'm not sure I should allow this harpy enter. Not if she's going to fluster you so."

"We can't do that," Carolyn shook her head. "Even though I would love to."

"Why?"

"It's just not — nice."

Smiling, he reminded her, "Madam, I repeat, I am **not **nice. Would you like me to prove that?"

After a moment's consideration, for effect, Carolyn nodded. "Yes, I would, since we won't get a chance to prove it later."

XXX

Some time later, over a late morning cup of coffee, Daniel and Carolyn took up the issue of Dakota again. "She's really a sweet dog, love," he pointed out reasonably. "I'm sure that Aunt Batty..."

"Dotty," Carolyn smiled.

"If you insist," he winked. "— can tolerate our dog. If she can't, then that might cut her visit short."

Setting down her cup, Carolyn did a double take. "That is an excellent point." Rising to her feet, she circled around the table to kiss him. "Thank you... ah... do you realize how ironic this conversation is?"

"If we had not had the 'discussion' you refer to, my dear, Dakota might not exist."

"Well, thank you nonetheless."

"Ahem!" a voice called from the ceiling.

Together, the Greggs looked up to see Tristan lounging overhead. "Don't mind me. I felt a slight disturbance in the Force, but I would have come anyway... I wanted to bring you your belated anniversary gift."

"You didn't need to do that, Tris," Carolyn called up to him.

"That is the definition of a gift," he insisted, drifting slowly down to floor level. "Something that someone who cares for you gives you because they don't need to, just want to. However, the desire to give could be defined as a need, so in that sense, I did need to. Do you want it, or should I pop out and let you go on?"

"Whenever you prefer, Tristan," Daniel said. He looked around. Tristan must be hiding it to pop in, for he could see no present.

"Well, it's not something that can be wrapped," the young ghost confessed. "You know, I've had the chance to become rather — rather — bored these last days, and normally, that could be potentially hazardous. However, I have made an effort to be good."

"We have noticed, and appreciate that," Daniel encouraged.

Tris smiled. "During this time, I've been working on something, a project that someone should have long ago, really. As you know, ghostish-ness is not a bad thing, for the most part. It's quite enjoyable, but there are one or two drawbacks, even the most tactile of us could not overcome, until now. One of the two, well, there's no way for me to work on that one," he turned a bit red on that note. "However, the other, I have partly remedied." Theatrically, he paused, then went on when Carolyn nodded. "Captain, I have slept for several hours every night now. It's not exactly sleep, more of a trance, during which I recharge — but when I come out of it, I feel as if moments have passed, but up to three hours have elapsed and I feel refreshed. So, it's as good as sleep — and I guess you might be the one of us to benefit most from this discovery." A broad grin lit his face.

Daniel and Carolyn exchanged stunned looks. "I admit, I have kind of missed being able to lie beside my husband," she softly said. "I know you stay with me until I sleep, but..." Now, it was her turn to pinken. "Thank you, Tristan."

"It's not hard to learn," Tristan went on, pleased with himself. "Merely concentrating... like hypnosis. I'll can show you in no time — Sig already knows, I wanted to make sure I could teach someone before I told you. IF I can teach my brother, I can teach anyone. Not that he's an idiot — he's not. But he's infuriating, and I infuriate him, so if I can hold my temper with him and the reverse — you get the idea."

"Right, Daniel only infuriates women," Carolyn grinned.

"Beautiful ones — or one," he countered. "Thank you, Tristan."

The young ghost rose to take a bow. "Now, I caught a fragment of conversation, unavoidably, but it troubled me. You aren't thinking of getting rid of Dakota, I hope. Sig would be shattered. He adores anything with four legs, but that horse and — and your horse over there are special. I don't want to be around him if he loses one of them. She's not sick, is she?"

"No, we're about to have unwelcome company and thought it might be easier if she stayed with the O'Caseys or the vets," Carolyn sighed.

"More?" Tris groaned. "Who now?"

So, he was told, concluding with, "So, now I really need to get to cleaning, swabbing the deck, dusting, and so on and on and on," Carolyn grimaced. "In fact, the whole fleet does, really. She's going to visit Candy and Jenny too, maybe even Adam's office or the Beacon."

"We'll let Mark Finley worry about the Beacon," Daniel frowned. "Tristan..."

"Who ever thought I'd be thrilled my brother is here?" the seaman rhetorically asked. "Right up Sig's alley. But we'll all help."

Just as Carolyn was opening her mouth to thank Tristan, again, he popped off to get the troops rounded up.

XXX

The next few days were a blur of activity. The only truly positive thing was that, just as predicted, it only took Tristan a few hours to teach Daniel the technique that would give him a verisimilitude of sleep. Thom was reported to be in a state of consternation; why were the ladies so in a swivet over one little old lady? Blackie shrugged, said he had no idea, but they were, so get busy. Thanks to Martha's memory, however each household was careful to leave on very obvious flaw in their cleaning for the old woman to find, in hopes that it would keep her content. That rankled Siegfried a bit; he felt that perfection was doable, so it hurt his considerable pride to leave things imperfect. Martha assured him it was necessary.

XXX

On the scheduled day of Aunt Dotty's arrival, Daniel was sure he'd go insane. Martha was there to help during the day. At the moment, she was helping Carolyn pace and run to the window at every sound. Since Dakota could sense that something was up, and she had been given a bath the day before, after Sean had noted she looked like a dump truck had overturned on her. The dog was on her upper keys, jumping and barking at any provocation. A full complement of ghosts was on hand, standing by to lend support, albeit invisibly.

Finally, from his perch on the roof, Tristan sighted a tank of a car with a trailer hauling a couch that he could only agree was in fact a monstrosity behind it. The plates on the vehicle were from Delaware, the state that Carolyn said she'd be arriving from. Instantly, he popped down to announce, "Pirates sighted off starboard, Captain. Prepare to be boarded."

At once, all specters but Daniel became invisible to everyone's eye but Carolyn and Martha's. Daniel put on his "Daniel Miles" face and snapped on Dakota's leash. Martha took the end from him. "You're going to have to hug her, you know."

"Of the two, I'd rather hug Dakota, if there has been no exaggeration about Aunt Batty," Daniel silkily returned, but ceded dog to Martha's control.

"Dotty!" Martha hissed back, but grinned to herself.

As Carolyn crossed to the front door, Tristan counted down in a low tone, "Five, four, three, two, one, boom."

"Aunt Dotty," Carolyn smiled as warmly as possible, stepping onto the porch, followed by Daniel.

Captain Gregg's first impression of Dotty was that of overly vibrant colors. Her hair steel gray. Her outfit would have been drab, by the cut of her clothes, but the coloration was — loud was the only word for it. Chivalry kicked in, forcing him to go to the car and finish helping her get out.

"You must be Aunt Dotty. How charming to meet you," he smiled genially. "I'll just help you to the house and then be back for your bags."

A moment later, he regretted being solid as her cane whacked his leg. "I can manage on my own, so keep your hands to yourself. Get my bags. I heard thunder a second ago, and I don't want the couch getting soaked."

He had no choice then but to let her hobble up the path to Gull Cottage. Silently, he asked Sean and Dash to find a way to arrive looking mortal so they could "help" him get the thing in the house. From what he could see of it, the alternately blue, gold and green piece of furniture was far worse than the sofa that Carolyn had sent to the rubbish heap. They'd be better off taking it down to the beach and tossing it in the sea.

A few minutes later, from the general direction of the cottage Sean and Molly haunted, four men appeared, walking up the road. "Ah, Danny. We heard that you might be in need of our help," Dash called out. "Would you be?"

"Indeed I would, Dash, thank you." He could have levitated it, had he not felt the Wicked Witch of the East's eye's boring into him from her stance on the porch.

"Little brother and I will get the bags," Siegfried offered.

If there had been any selfish motive on his part, thinking that bags might be easier to carry, it was frustrated by the volume of suitcases there were. Two overnight bags, three giant suitcases, and four smaller bags were crammed into the back seat.

"Is she moving in?" Sean hissed.

"I don't know what she plans, but no," Daniel grimly whispered back.

"Jess had fewer bags, and she's staying for good!" Siegfried muttered.

"Is it confirmed? The twit is going to be a stay at home mother, freeing the job for Jess?" Dash asked.

"We don't know," Siegfried sighed, hefting as many bags as he could get away with carrying while watched. "Can't you put her inside? That would make life easier."

"Ssh. Bet she's got ears like a hawk has eyes," Tristan advised.

"Get out of the way — this thing is awkward," Daniel ordered.

So, the ghostly parade made their cumbersome way up the walk. For a moment, whether or not the thing would make it through the door was in dispute, but with a bit of maneuvering, they made it. Martha had to fight Dakota to keep her from trying to jump four feet in the air to climb all over what appeared to be a new toy to her. One word from Siegfried calmed the poor girl.

"Where do we put it?" Daniel huffed for effect.

"Well, you'll have to move the living room furniture around," Dotty said in a tone that implied he was simple for not realizing that and it should have been done by now.

"What about the basement?" Tristan asked with a too nice smile that made Dash and Daniel choke.

"Don't be silly, I can't work in a cellar! Who are you?"

What Tristan wanted to say was, _the guy holding your bags, and who is about to take them back to your blasted car and shove them and you in it then drive you away._ Instead, he said, "Tristan Matthews. Family friend." He didn't say **nice to meet **you, an omission that normally would have his brother scolding, but not this time.

"I think introductions can wait until the couch is set down," Carolyn said. "Aunt Dotty, let me show you to your room."

Firmly, she led the disagreeable old lady out of the living room, freeing the ghosts to shift things around with their powers.

Now, they could get a good look at IT. Molly cocked her head and sighed. "And why'd anyone want the thing?" Bits of it were a nubby aqua fabric, others were in crushed green velvet, and still other parts were a shabby, gold brocade. "Looks like it's been redone at least twice, part way. Nor does it look like 'twas ever comfortable."

"If she thinks it's going in my house, she'd better think again," Dash intoned darkly.

"Shh," Martha warned, looking back toward the steps.

"Martha, we can control who hears us," Daniel told her in a voice silent to all he did not allow to hear.

"I know," she whispered. "But you enjoy reminding me." Dropping her voice further, "Don't worry. From all I remember and hear, she always brings several times too much luggage."

"**One** suitcase would be too much," Daniel mumbled.

"Shh," the housekeeper cautioned. Footsteps indicated that Carolyn and Dotty were returning.

"Come on, Sig, let's take the bags to her room, now that the furniture has been rearranged," Tristan said. Deftly, the brothers navigated past the two women to haul the assorted bags upstairs.

When they returned, Sean and Dash were on their way out; there was just not a logical excuse for them to stay. Not a polite one anyhow.

However, Carolyn did hear a chorus of very male voices instructing her that if they were needed, they would be there immediately, if not sooner, and Molly invisibly gave her a sisterly hug.

XXX

The remainder of the tense afternoon elapsed until two more cars arrived, one bearing Thom and Candy Avery, the other Dave, Jenny, and Amberly Farnon. Normally, the two young families would eagerly look forward to an evening at the "Flagship home." This was not a normal night.

The obligatory hugs were endured with as much grace as the four young people could manage. Then, the battery of questions began, barely letting up for a dinner that Dotty found to be improperly seasoned, consist half of dishes she was allergic to, and Carolyn should have remembered she'd never liked most of the rest. Therefore, Carolyn wound up making a peanut butter and apple sandwich for her. No one had ever heard of that combination before, not even Dave who'd had to cater to a weird craving or two in the last few months.

At least her griping gave the girls a slight break. Jenny found herself grilled on every aspect of what she was doing with her baby. Most of it was not correct. Thankfully, when Dotty announced she would naturally take the time to come and decorate the nursery, Dave put his foot down.

"Ma'am," he said in a voice firm enough to rival the Captain's, "that is — kind — of you, but two dear friends spent considerable time decorating the nursery, and it will stay as it is, unless our daughter suddenly develops an unusually advanced vocabulary and announces, 'Daddy, I don't like my room.' In which case, I will ask her what she wants, and it will be done." _But not by you. _

Thom muttered, "Just don't tell Clay, he'll have her on a talk show."

Aunt Dotty didn't hear him, she was too busy looking offended. "Well, I'm sure you will understand that I don't visit you, since you don't care for my well-meant advice, that I only give out of concern and love."

Before either parent could decide what to say, she had turned on Candy. "Now, when will you be starting your family, young lady? You've been married over a year, and nothing? Are you one of those women who doesn't want a baby to mess up her career? Best not wait too long, or you might not..."

"What we do in that area is not going to be discussed over the dinner table!" Candy yelped, glancing around, hoping that none of the rest of the family was in earshot. "And I think Adam would let me have time off if I needed it for — a baby."

"You call your boss Adam? What ever happened to respect?"

_At least she was off of babies_, Carolyn thought with a mental sigh. "She grew up with Adam, it's hard to call a friend 'Mister'."

"And I do, at work," Candy added, almost petulantly.

"We just aren't ready," Thom said uneasily.

"Dave and I'd been married over a year before we had Amberly," Jenny softly said. "I need to go change her. Excuse me. Sis? Want to come? I think she misses her favorite aunt."

"I don't know why you let those two pretend to be sisters," was the last thing the girls heard before they ducked into Martha's former room with the baby.

When the two girls were alone, Candy fumed. "We are sisters, just because we want to be, not because we have to be."

"Best kind," Jenny agreed. "Would you hold your niece while I get out the necessary stuff?"

XXX

The rest of the evening, short as it was, passed in a state of high tension. There were enough leftovers that another meal could easily be served; no one but Dakota had much appetite. To Aunt Dotty, the girls and their husbands made polite goodbyes. For Daniel and Carolyn, they had sympathetic looks and sincere hugs. Candy made a point of addressing the Captain as _"Dad_," dropping the "Captain" part as she had been more wont to do over the passing years.

Tisking under her breath, Dotty sighed theatrically. "Well, I can't get any work done tonight, I'm too disturbed..." It took a commendable effort on Daniel Gregg's part not to say a hearty _aye! _to that.

"...So, I'll get my Scrabble board out. You look like you might be able to give me a good challenge, Dan. Set up a card table." On that note, she stalked out of the room to fetch her supplies from her room, pausing to say, "Well, I hope that storm doesn't break before the children get home. They may have been raised improperly, but I'd hate for anything to happen to them."

"I am certain that the weather will hold up for them," Daniel seethed when she was gone.

In a soft tone, Carolyn advised, "We'll talk about it, later. Right now, let's just humor her, and hope she leaves soon."

When Dotty re-entered, she glared at Carolyn. "Lyn, I don't know why you stuck me upstairs. I prefer to be downstairs, it's closer to my work and it's not so hard on my poor, old legs. While I trounce your charmer of a husband, switch out my room." Somehow, she made _charmer _sound like an insult.

"The game will wait until **after** I move the bags for you," Daniel said in a dangerous tone. "Darling, sit and rest while I attend to it."

"_Daniel_," she very deliberately said, emphasizing his name, "I'd like to help you."

He nodded. He would NOT allow her to tote heavy bags, but the company would be more than welcome.

XXX

"She's fortunate I don't move these out the door or send them into the sea to join Vanessa's trunk," he growled, lifting the first valise.

"I can't just kick her out," Carolyn sighed. "As much as I want to. She is my father's big sister, he'd be very hurt if I did that. But — Daniel, I'm worried about our girls."

"I'll never know why you put a phone in our cabin, love, but why don't you go on up there and call them? Or I can summon Tris and Dash; they'd know by now, if all is well."

"I want to hear THEIR voices."

"Understood, my dear. I promise to be up shortly. I am anxious to practice sleeping beside you."

"Not too anxious, I hope," she smiled.

"Never." He grimaced. "I take back every ill word I said about Uncle Arnold, Harriet, or Hazel. I might even reconsider Ralph. Now that I have a proper standard for comparison, they are only minor irritants."

Giving him a quick kiss, Carolyn retreated to the master cabin where she soon learned Candy and Jenny were fine. Thom could be heard in the background inventing some very colorful names on her first call. According to Jenny, Dave was so mad he could not talk, but was considering finding a swamp to bury Aunt Dotty under, headfirst.

XXX

Daniel did not get to practice sleeping beside his wife for quite some time, but not for the reason he had hoped. It was four a.m. before he managed to extricate himself from a six-hour game of Scrabble, and that only after being threatened with a re-match so his adversary could beat him. If a ghost could get tired, he'd be exhausted. Naturally, his beloved was asleep, so he settled for merely settling down to lie beside her, watching over his Carolyn until it was time to rise and face another day of Dotty. Watching her sleep gave him a peace he desperately needed to quell his anger.

XXX

At seven, he and Carolyn came downstairs right before Martha was due to arrive. As their dear friend opened the fridge, she frowned. "Is something wrong with my cooking? It looks like you just put everything I made back in here."

"According to HER," Carolyn explained, "everything. It was fine, but the rest of us, lost our appetites."

"Care to clarify?" Mrs. Peavey asked.

"Don't be concerned," Daniel hrumphed. "She ought to sleep until noon, we were up playing that blasted game until four. Say what you will, my dear. Say it in any case, I don't care if she hears it."

With smoke almost pouring from her ears, Martha shook her head. "Dakota, I'd tell you to bite her, but you might be poisoned. Of all the gall. Jane Shoemaker has more tact. Not much, but some."

At nine forty-five, their peace was disrupted when Dotty came out of her room demanding to be taken to Keystone or Skeldale to buy fabric.

"We do have work to do, Aunt..." Carolyn began.

"You can write any time. If you had a job, I'd understand, but you don't, so get a move on."

With the thought that the sooner this was done, the sooner they'd be free, Carolyn gave way. Obviously, since the girls had been defiant, they were being excluded. How she envied them at the moment!

Several exhausting hours later, the two women returned to find Blackie had stopped by. Before their arrival, he'd told Daniel that as pastor, he felt obligated to show up in times of crisis or other disaster. According to Dash, who had paced a path in his ceiling, Candy and Thom were both still virtually radioactively angry. He was quite glad, for Adam's sake, that it was Saturday. Candy like as not would not be at her best work-wise. For that matter, since Thom made his living drawing blood, if he'd had to prick anyone with a needle, it would not have been pretty. However, he said none of this.

Rather, the young pastor donned his best smile and introduced himself. "And, I would like to invite you to join Aunt Carolyn and Uncle Daniel at our services tomorrow."

"He's related to you?" Dotty asked Daniel.

"No exactly, but he is Thom's cousin."

"You people have no comprehension of family. Blood is what makes a family, not just going around saying you — or you are my family."

Blackwood smiled. It was not a friendly smile. "Ah, but just look at all the Biblical examples of how well families got along. Cain and Abel, Jacob and Esau, Esau and Rebekah, Absalom and David... for that matter, I've always wondered if Saint Andrew was very annoying. You will note that when Saint Pete asked Our Lord about forgiveness, his words were 'how often must I forgive my brother?' Gotta wonder. So, I think, I'll keep my adopted aunt and uncle."

"Huhn. Well, what about the commandment to be fruitful and multiply? Do you approve of Thom and Candy not obeying it?"

"Well, when the command was given, there were less than ten people in the world, so I think the world has been re-populated quite well," he continued to smile. "Sometimes, I wonder if it hasn't been overly so."

"Hmph. Well, I won't be seeing you tomorrow... for one thing, I have to finish that couch. Lyn liked to never agreed on the proper fabric for it. And another, I don't approve of those five points of yours."

"I will see you tomorrow, won't I?" Blackie settled on asking, looking over at Carolyn.

"Yes, Blackie."

"Excellent."

"Are you going to be seeing Jess today?" Carolyn asked. "She wanted to look at Captain Gregg's older logs, and I got a couple out."

"Aye. Are they in the wheelhouse?"

"Yes — you've never seen it, have you? Daniel — "

"I thought you had," the Captain looked startled. "Darling, why don't you show Blackwood my office?"

On that note, Carolyn escorted her "nephew" upstairs.

"Thank you," he said when they reached the attic. "I was about to bite my tongue off, and there's something satisfying about saying what one wishes to someone." He paused, then very deliberately said, "Damn her."

In mid-reach, Carolyn stopped to turn away from the breakfront and stare at Blackie. "I always said she could make a saint cuss, now I have proof."

"Sorry," he looked abashed. "But I just absolutely had to say it. She probably argued with Calvin himself — no — with Saint Augustine and Pelagius! Or Saint Paul. I've spoken to Dave and Thom both before coming here. Not to mention Dash and Tris who have ranted and raved more eloquently. Oh, don't worry, Tristan won't try anything he wants to, not if there's an off chance an innocent bystander could get caught in the crossfire. He does, however, wish that she were Blair instead of herself. He's more fun to run off."

"Well, maybe now that the cloth is purchased, she'll get the thing complete and be gone," Carolyn sighed, lifting two leather books from a drawer. "I hope Jess enjoys these."

"She will. Now, does any particular flower express appreciation? I have a sudden profound surge of that emotion for my two natural aunts and for you."

"Just find out what the lady likes," Carolyn suggested. "But when in doubt, roses."

He nodded. "Any messages for Aunt Lynne or Jess? And do you know how confusing it was for me to hear you called Lyn?"

Carolyn smiled. "Just give them my love. And tell them they might want to avoid Gull Cottage, at least for the duration of the siege."

"That's the surest way to get them over here," he grinned. "Well, no help for it. Shall we go down?"

Supper was a silent affair, after which Daniel refused to be inveigled into another game. They had an full day planned tomorrow, and he wanted to go to bed before midnight, much less four a.m.

XXX

Blackie almost laughed to see the sheer gladness on the Greggs' faces as they entered the church. Truly, the service was held in a sanctuary that day.

Afterwards, Martha insisted on having everyone over to her house for lunch... a long lunch.

One would expect that Daniel and Carolyn might have found significant progress made by the time they returned to Gull Cottage. The upholstery was off the seat cushions, but patches of the various refurbishings lingered on the rest of the monstrosity. None of the golden orange cloth that Carolyn had accepted yesterday had been so much as cut. Dakota shot them a reproachful glare that said, _why did you leave me here with her?_

Any one else might have asked how the service went. Not Dotty.

"Daniel, I want you to take that horrible picture down. The eyes keep staring at me, and I can hardly concentrate. Why you keep it up, I have no idea."

"That is out of the question. M — Captain Gregg's portrait has hung there since the house was built, and it will continue to be there, where it belongs," Daniel bit out. "If you can't work with it there, then I suggest the project be KO'd and you go home."

Carolyn held her breath as the two indomitably willed souls glared at each other. Was it possible this might end now?

Finally with a huff of air, Dotty thinned her lips and snapped, "Very well. Would you kindly get that — flea-bag out of here then? It's glaring hasn't been any more welcome than his."

"Come along, Dakota. We'll all take a walk along the beach," Daniel instructed, a bit smugly. "If you are at a breaking point by supper time, we're having a guest or two."

"Well, I hope the cooking is improved," Dotty snapped.

Daniel threaded his arm through Carolyn's. He could hardly wait to see what Adam made of the old bat.

XXX

At five thirty, Adam and Jess arrived for their date. It might not be a conventional date, but those just didn't work for that pair. Both had heard about this lunatic of a relative and were curious. Lynne would have come, but one of her patients had had surgery the day before, so she was in Skeldale to visit them. She planned to combine the trip with a stop at Candy, Thom, and Dash's.

Aunt Dotty asked to just have a salad on a TV tray in her work room, but escape was not that simple.

After a light dinner, Adam strolled to the chaotic living room. For a few moments, he stared at the sofa, then the woman who had her back to him at the sewing machine, working on one of the cushions. Estimating her rate of progress, he'd guess she might be done sometime around Christmas, if she continued at this steady rate without slowing. That was unthinkable. So, the attorney cleared his throat. No response was made. A bit louder, he called out, "Hello. We haven't met, I'm Mr. Pierce, Carolyn's attorney, friend, etc, etc. and so forth."

Dotty turned to stare at him, offended by the interruption. "Adam."

"To my friends," he smiled tightly. "From what I gather of this situation, there is one question that has become rather — prepossessing." He paused, lips pursed, then went on, dimly aware that Carolyn, Daniel, and Jess were watching. "I get the distinct impression you are not very pleased with Mrs. Miles or her children, so why are you going to so much effort over a piece of furniture for their benefit?"

Dotty glared back. "And what business of it is yours?"

"It simply is," he replied. "Heck, who knows, _maybe _ifCarolyn knew why you were doing this, she might be more amenable to doing it your way." _Or maybe not_, but he did not say this.

"Because, young man, when I say I will do something, it gets done. I'm not as young as I once was, so now is the time to do it." On that note, she turned her back on Adam, but did not stop talking. "Dan, I expect you to finish that game I let you out of last night, tonight. I will be ready to take a break in three hours."

"If I'm still up, we'll see, " he said very formally.

"Well, I do have a long drive home," Adam said regretfully. "So, Jess, are you ready?"

"Guess so. School night."

The two couples walked outside. There, Jess exhaled abruptly. "Man alive, she is a trip."

"I wish she'd take one," Daniel rumbled.

"Well, if you start to try and get rid of her," Jess grinned, "I want to watch. Could you try — haunting her, like I read about you doing with Callahan or some of the other — stowaways?"

A light came on in Adam's eyes and he kissed her soundly. "Brilliant girl. Callahan — the cellar, perfect solution."

"What if she haunted?" Carolyn asked. "And what about, 'if you do something like that, don't tell me'?"

"Blast. Justifiable self defense, of your sanity," Adam insisted. "But I can't get around your other point. Would Jess' idea work?"

"She doesn't sleep enough to pull it off," Daniel frowned.

XXX

There was no avoiding another game of Scrabble that night. However, Daniel had learned that Dotty hated to lose; therefore, for the first time in his existence, the Captain chose to do his utmost to win. Victory is, after all simply getting what one truly desires, and he truly desired to retire for the rest of the night. What earthly good was the lad teaching him how to simulate sleep if he never got the opportunity to do so? Nonetheless, it was after two a.m. before he was able to escape her. When he attempted to give her an easy win, his knuckles were rapped soundly for his trouble. Therefore, he made an effort to look like he was attempting to achieve the highest score, while working for the opposite. Thus, it took longer for Dotty to get two or three games ahead of him.

Immediately after breakfast, Daniel informed his wife that he had an errand to do, though he regretted leaving her alone with her aunt.

XXX

After so much time, hearing knocking coming from nowhere in particular had lost the power to startle Claymore Gregg. However, he could not suppress the "gaak" when his uncle popped into the office just on the other side of his desk.

"I wish you wouldn't do that," Claymore sighed. "I thought that giving you back your property that really was my property would get me some peace."

"That's what you get for thinking," slipped out before Daniel could check the words, but he offset them with a chuckle. "Claymore, you have always insisted we are — family."

Claymore did not reply, just gave Daniel a wary look.

"While I'm not prepared to concede the point, yet, you have shown yourself to have a bit more heart than I previously might have thought, in recent years."

"Heart, that's right. I have one, and it's delicate. You don't want to make it act funky do you? I might become a ghost, too and then..."

"Claymore, dear boy, I have no intention of frightening you... this time. I was merely noting that we have not seen much of you, lately."

"That's because Mrs. Muir's family might think I was you, but I'm not you, so I was trying to — to — not confuse things... or get more confused myself... and..."

"Quite right," Daniel cut him off approvingly. "However, I do recall that you have a fondness for games?"

"Uh — well, the ones with money, even if it's not real money," Claymore allowed with trepidation.

"Yes... 'Monopoly' and 'Life'? I thought so. As you may have heard, Carolyn's aunt, Dotty, is visiting for some time. You have not met her, have you? Just so. She has a fondness for games also, so I thought perhaps you might enjoy meeting her and playing a game or two with her." Daniel smiled, intending to look non-threatening, but Claymore knew that smile. It never meant good things for him.

"What's the catch?" Claymore asked.

"No catch. Just come to dinner, tonight, and play a few rounds of Monopoly or something with her. " Daniel's tone was smooth.

"Are you trying to set me up with her, like with Aggie, on a date?"

"Good grief, no! " What a horrifying thought, the two of them marrying, her staying there. Mentally, Daniel shuddered. "She's far too old for you."

"Old? Hmm. Could be an easy win," Claymore mused, "and you'd give me a meal?"

"Oh, yes," Daniel agreed.

"All right, I'll be there."

"Excellent," the ghost beamed.

XXX

Back at Gull Cottage, Carolyn was pouring her second cup of coffee when she heard a knock on her back door. Curious, she went and opened it after looking out. She did not recognize the handsome man's face on the other side of the door, but she knew the eyes.

As she opened the door, his deep voice rumbled, "Now, then, young lady, should you be opening the door to strangers?"

"Only if they are strangers, not just friends trying to make me think they are," she grinned back. "Fontenot."

"What gave me away?"

"Your eyes. If I can get close enough to see them, they never change."

He shrugged, morphing into a more familiar, grey haired, terribly handsome man. "That can't be helped. I understand that this place is a marvelous one for a coffee break? Working with Elroy, one needs those, from time to time."

"Sit down, I'll get you one. Black?"

"Indeed. I'd ask for Madeira, but it is early. When we're done, could you direct me to Jessamyn? I've never been to her actual home, and she did mention wanting to ask me about authentic history."

"I think she's desperately trying to make herself indispensable so she can stay," Carolyn sighed. "But — the teacher she's subbing for is a — twit — and with twits — well, you can't predict what will happen next."

Fontenot nodded. "Yes, very true. Then, I will stop in and see Tristan. Is he still living with your heart's daughter and her family? I hear he has some brilliant innovation he wants to show off."

"It IS brilliant," Carolyn smiled, then tensed. The distinct clumping of a cane could be heard approaching. A march from Jenny's favorite movie, the _Imperial Theme_, played at the back of Carolyn's head.

The kitchen door burst open to let Dotty totter into the room. Her mean eyes settled on Fontenot. "Who are you? More 'family'?"

The ghost looked a bit taken aback. Few women had ever sneered at him. "Well, if I am, it is an honor." Rising elegantly, he began to cross the room to be a gentleman and kiss her hand, saying as he went, "Fontenot — just Fontenot, I'm — "

"What kind of name is that? And what are you doing entertaining a handsome devil while your husband appears to be gone?" Dotty turned to stare a hole in Carolyn, moving away from Daniel's mentor, so that he'd have to go out of his way to give his greeting. He chose not to. Perhaps his rule that all women were lovely needed revision, or he had found the exception.

"Fontenot is Daniel's good friend, and mine," Carolyn said firmly. "May I get you some coffee, Aunt Dotty?"

"I'm looking for hibiscus tea, tried to find it last night, but I can't find where you keep it."

"Because we don't," Carolyn replied. "We do have Earl Grey and Cinnamon blended; I'm sure Dash would let me share it with you."

Dotty snorted. "If I wanted that, I would not be looking for hibiscus. When you go out, you'll need to get some, immediately."

"I shouldn't wonder if tis not impossible to find in Schooner Bay," Fontenot pondered. "Perhaps I can find you some oleander instead?" His ghost sight revealed a dried up, shriveled soul that grated on his psionic senses, making him want to leave; but not willing to leave a true lady he considered a sister alone with such a one, he stayed.

"No, ah — Jess will still be in class for sometime yet," Carolyn smiled. Someday, the ghosts would all get attuned to mortal time, perhaps. "But — I'm sure Tristan is available. I'll give you a lift to — to his place and maybe the general store has some kind of tea you'd like, Aunt. I'll check while we're out. If Daniel gets home from visiting Claymore, please tell him I'll be home soon."

"Didn't he take your car? So how will you get anywhere?"

_Oops. _ "Daniel is a huge fan of walking," Carolyn covered hastily. "So, I have the car here, now."

"It's not an — Alpha Romeo by any chance?" Fontenot asked. "I've heard so much about them."

"No, that was Blair's car, before he got a Trans."

The big man looked rather disappointed, but shrugged it off as Carolyn retrieved her purse. "Do you need anything else, Aunt Dotty?"

"Just the tea," she sniped. "For now."

"Madam, I would suggest you tell your niece what you might need later," Fontenot instructed. "She might not wish to go back out."

"That will be all," Dotty seethed, flouncing out.

The senior ghost shook his head. "Unbelievable," he murmured as he opened the door for Carolyn.

In a low tone, she said, "Well, it is Aunt Dotty McNaughton."

"Quite well named too," he agreed.

XXX

Seeing Jenny and Amberly truly soothed Carolyn's heart as she took a few minutes to visit with them while dropping Fontenot to see Uncle Tristan. Apparently, the young ghost really saw Jenny and her daughter as the chance to be an uncle he'd missed with his twin sister. Perhaps he didn't seem to take much seriously, but he did this. In the middle of her visit, Daniel arrived. He has realized that he would need to appear to have taken long enough to walk two miles round trip before coming home, so had delayed his return. When he sensed his wife reaching town, he had simply focused on her and headed in that direction. Therefore, the visit extended a bit; male ghosts enjoyed chattering among themselves just as much or more than women. Besides, Daniel could help Tristan explain the mechanics of sleep to their guru.

The time to return to Gull Cottage came too soon though. Neither the ghost nor Mrs. Gregg had ever imagined they'd dread going home, but they did now. Frankly, Carolyn didn't give a — Rhett Butler — whether or not Aunt Dotty got her blasted hibiscus tea, but stopping to look for it was a welcome delay. Daniel suggested that perhaps Skeldale would have it? However, the market did have Celestial Seasonings tea; upon examination, the elusive flower was blended into most of the mixtures. It wasn't pure hibiscus, but she could make do. Carolyn **did** select a blend she knew she had a chance of liking, Peach Zinger, just in case it didn't go over well. Over the years, Dash's fondness for tea in general had infected her as well, allowing her to pretend that she wasn't trying to please her unwelcome guest.

The O'Casey's were standing by the gate invisibly when the Greggs came home. Seeing the car, they became visible. "We wanted to check on you, but Dakota was the only family we could feel inside the house," Sean explained. "Figured you were taking a break, so we waited.

"Are ye holding up?" Molly asked, concern written on her sweet face.

"Pretty well," Carolyn nodded. "At least it's not one of those sectional sofas."

"I peeked in," Sean admitted. "If it were, she'd not live long enough to finish, the rate she's going. Elroy could sew faster."

Daniel grimaced at the truth of that. "Once he got the blasted needed threaded."

"It can be tricky," Molly pointed out as they went inside. Instantly, Dakota was jumping over them, paws everywhere.

"I thought Sig trained that out of her?" Sean frowned, gently pushing the miniature horse off his white shirt. "Ah, no, girl. I only kiss Molly."

Prompted by the name, Dakota turned her attention to the redhead. Had she not been a ghost, she might have been knocked over.

Firmly, Carolyn pulled her down, but wimped out on scolding her harshly as she looked into the huge golden-brown eyes. The dog wiggled away when Daniel answered Sean, almost cutting off his response mid-word. "He… oof… did."

Clump, clump, clump.

"You finally got back," the nasal voice called ahead of Dotty's slow trek to the foyer. "Did you find my tea?"

"All Ollie had was a blend of teas, but hibiscus is in there," Carolyn informed her.

"Where's that slick fellow you took off with you? Dan, did you know she entertained handsome men while you were gone?"

"I met Carolyn and Fontenot at Jenny's." Daniel paused, trying to cool the instant anger he felt rising. "I do trust both my wife and my friends implicitly."

Dotty shook her head, but made no comment. Instead, she stared at Molly. "What kind of dye to you use? I've been thinking gray might not be the right color for my hair."

"You'd have to pray about it. I don't know what shade the good Lord used when putting color into my hair," Molly returned.

"I'll go brew you some tea," Carolyn said. "Is there much progress on the couch?"

"You can't rush these things, you know," Dotty said. "Do that, and you wind up with something you don't want. I really should have gotten some stuffing material when we were at the millinery. This needs replacing."

"We'll make do," Daniel barked. "You — don't trouble yourself on that matter. It will be fine." _Because the moment you are gone, it's going in the scrap heap. _

"I'll give ye a hand, Carolyn," Molly offered, and the two women disappeared into the kitchen.

XXX

A high-tension level kept the visit brief. Carolyn retreated to the master cabin to try and type, but after two pages, she was appalled to see the number of typos she produced. Content wise — she'd not even turn that garbage in to the Beacon. Daniel appeared when he heard the clacking keys still. "Ready for me to proof your latest?"

"It's not worth reading," she sighed.

"Nonsense, you are too hard on yourself," he chided fondly. "You never think it's good enough." Against her protests, he floated the sheets over and began to read. Not even super-human control could keep a flicker of dismay off his face.

"Told you."

"Blast the woman. I dare say that if I tried to chart a mile of coastline, it'd come out looking like a map of — China. Darling, why are you putting yourself through this?"

"Not to mention you? She's my father's older sister."

"Yes, I know..."

"And when he and mother was first married, it was hard for them... she took them into her home. He's always felt in her debt... I guess I felt so, too."

Calculating the years, Daniel said, "The Depression was hard on many people, I'm sure that two incomes in one home were welcome."

Carolyn shrugged. "Wouldn't Blackie say 'do unto others'... and so on?"

"There's also a verse that says 'flee from evil'."

XXX

Claymore arrived promptly. You could call him many things, but late for free food was not one of them. He was immensely cheerful to be invited over.

Toward the end of the meal, that miraculously, Dotty was eating with them, Daniel asked, "Clay, you do still play Monopoly, don't you?"

"Yes," the little man beamed.

"Aunt Dotty just loves games, so perhaps you two could play a round or — two?" the ghost smiled.

"I'd love to!" Claymore announced.

"Scrabble is my game," Dotty groused.

"You can get— inured to a game after — how long have you been playing?" Daniel asked.

"Thirty-eight years. I have all the scores recorded in notebooks, by date."

"How — efficient." Claymore faltered a bit.

"Yes, well, a change might be nice, and I'm sure that after a hand or two, or round, whatever you call it, Claymore would be delighted to engage you in a round of Scrabble or two." Daniel glared at Claymore, telling him with his eyes to agree.

"Oh, yes, yes. I can spell all kinds of sea-talk words — barnacle, ah — mizzen, jellyfish..."

"We get the idea, Claymore," Carolyn smiled. "Daniel, would you set up the game table and I'll wash up."

XXX

Two hours later, the gamesters were still at it. At ten, they showed no signs of stopping. Claymore had won one game of Monopoly and was on his way to a second. Through a yawn, Carolyn bid her former landlord goodnight, then she and Daniel went upstairs for some privacy. By this time, even Daniel was accustomed enough to Claymore to not feel obligated to stay up while he entertained Dotty for them.

When Daniel popped down to get coffee going for his wife, he had to go invisible in a split second and return upstairs. Fortunately, Claymore was facing in his direction, but the pair was still at it.

For a moment, the ghost stood in his cabin, pondering the scene he'd just witnessed. The jellyfish had more stamina than he imagined. With a sigh, Daniel donned his 'mask' and walked downstairs the conventional way, feigning shock at seeing their two guests still up.

"Heavens, Claymore, I had no idea you had spent the night," Daniel said, quite truthfully. "Would you care for some coffee?"

Pushing his slipping glasses back in position, the little man looked up. "YES. I need a nap... can we quit now?"

"You're still a game ahead of me," Dotty slurred.

"He'll come back, to — "

"Not tonight — it's — it's my — my thing tonight. You know, uh — the important one I can't get out of," Claymore blurted, panicked.

"One evening, **he will** return, and you can trounce him," Daniel promised, giving his 'nephew' a look that mingled a touch of sympathy with a stern order.

"Anything," Claymore vowed with a gulp. "Please, I need my rest. I'm — I'm exhausted." Proving it, he yawned broadly.

"You wouldn't want to win just because your opponent is — fried, would you?" Daniel asked pointedly.

"All right," Dotty huffed. "If you're getting him coffee, I want my tea."

"You would." Turning on his heel, Daniel went to the kitchen to start the coffee brewing and let Dakota out. He noted with a frown that the door bore faint, new scratch marks. It appeared that Siegfried would have a task to do soon. Remedial training for Miss Dakota.

A moment later, Claymore staggered into the kitchen. "Next time, just nail me to a mizzen-keel. Mast-haul me."

"Mizzenmast, keelhaul," Daniel corrected on reflex. "Did you really play all night?"

"Not one break. I know you can't stand me — but please, can I take a nap in the guestroom or the alcove or somewhere? Please? I'll fall asleep driving."

"Of course," Daniel nodded, adding sternly, "I have no wish for you to become a spirit."

Martha showed up a few minutes later. Once she got over her startlement at seeing their former landlord slumped over a mega-coffee cup, she asked if he'd want breakfast before or after he slept a few hours, then went on to make it.


	6. Dakota Strikes Back

**Dakota Strikes Back**

If Daniel and Carolyn had hopes that the game marathon would send Dotty to bed for the day, they were in for disappointment. She did not so much as nap. However, she was grumpier all day, and did, thankfully, retire early.

Around one a.m., Daniel was on the verge of rising so he could patrol once or twice, when he became aware of a strange noise below. Beside him, Carolyn stirred and woke.

"What's happening?" she muttered.

"I'll go see," he promised, vanishing a moment later. Now, he could hear Dakota yapping. Blast it. He'd been so — bloody careful about being seen as a ghost that patrolling had been curtailed and now...

On that thought, the Captain nearly stopped to get his saber before going to where Dakota's voice indicated the trouble was, but decided to wait and see first.

When he did arrive, invisibly, the sight that greeted him did not require a saber. Camera, perhaps, but not saber.

Dakota was making a circuit through the downstairs of Gull Cottage, at a pace he would not have believed such a big dog capable of managing with such grace, pausing to bark and growl when she arrived at the downstairs bathroom, inside which Dotty was trapped, standing in the bathtub, (fully clothed, thank the Maker.) As best he could guess, she was in there for refuge only. Through the barks, he could hear Carolyn's aunt alternately saying "good doggie, go away, shoo, shoo, bad doggie, help." He was terribly tempted to summon his cohorts. Tristan would be laughing for days. Finally, after watching for a few minutes, he called Dakota off, sending her upstairs to Carolyn. Informing his wife of what the trouble was took priority. As soon as he knew Dotty was safely pointed in the direction of her bed, he returned to his, where he and Carolyn laughed without pause for the next hour.

XXX

"That dog must go," Dotty declared at breakfast the next morning, before coffee was even perked.

"Why would that be?" Carolyn asked, choking a bit.

"She — she attacked me! I just knew I was — kibble!" the old harridan fumed. "How can you live here with such a deadly beast?"

Dakota turned to look at her masters with an innocent, "who, me?" look. Daniel patted her approvingly. Silently, he promised her extra bacon, no matter what Dr. Wight had ordered for her.

"Dotty," he said, before Carolyn could, "Dakota has never attacked anyone — so I find it quite impossible to believe that she attacked you. Perhaps you misinterpreted some game?"

"Game? You call trapping me in the bathtub while she barked and growled at me a game? I'm amazed you did not hear her and wake up."

Daniel did not affirm or deny this, just tugged his ear a moment. "I would say she was merely defending her territory. However, if you are uncomfortable with our dog, feel free to go on home, we can make do with our old couch."

For an offended moment, Dotty glared, then gritted out, "I have yet to go back on my word. This project is not — worth breaking that record. Now, where is that — Beacon thing? Not much of a paper, but it would make a good switch."

"Aunt Dotty, Dakota did nothing wrong, so we will NOT allow you to strike her!" Carolyn said loudly.

"If you attempt to, you will leave, record or no," Daniel added in what could only be called the "captain" tone. She did have a point about the Beacon.

He might need to reconsider his position on the paper's worth. If it were just not for Finley...

The phone shrilled, cutting off further conversation. Carolyn excused herself to answer it, returning a moment later, disappointment on her face.

"Love?" Daniel asked, rising in concern.

"It may be nothing," she sighed. "Not here."

Without a backward glance, the Greggs went out of the kitchen, Dakota trailing behind.

"Dave called — no one's hurt. But Talia Nettles, the teacher Jess is subbing for, placed an ad in next week's Beacon, you know he still handles the ad section. She's looking for a 'mother's helper.' I guess, I guess Jess won't get to keep the job."

"Blast," he cursed.

"That goes double for me." Dropping her voice, she half laughed bitterly, "The aunt we want to keep may have to go and the other one won't."

"Don't count on that," he smiled, winking.

"Which?" She looked up into his blue eyes, searching.

"Either. Now then, just focus on the good. Today is the day you and our girls had planned to have together, yes?" He kissed her as intensely as the situation allowed, offering comfort without words.

"Hmm... oh, yes," she agreed.

"You enjoy the day with them, and leave this to me."

She gave her husband a look of askance, but trusted him after their time together.

XXX

Daniel would have been welcome to come along, but he did not trust Aunt Batty to not hurt Dakota. However, it was not an all-girl's event. Adam tagged along with Candy.

"I can't get any work done with my legal assistant out to lunch. She knows it all, I'm just the boss," he informed them with a lazy grin.

"You are always welcome, Adam," Carolyn smiled back. The lawyer did not miss the faint worry shadow in her eyes, but he had met her lunatic of a relative. That would give anyone a shadow.

As they ordered their sodas, or in Jenny's case, water, the little family chatted over trivialities in their own secret language which did sound normal to passers by, but held meaning to them beyond the plain words.

They also knew each others' "tells," small gestures that clued observers into the fact that something was going on. When Adam began tapping his fingers on the table, Carolyn lowered her glass and gave him a look. "Yes?"

He didn't bother ask what she meant. "I have been wondering, what does Aunt Loonie do when she's not making interstate treks with her pet couch to harass innocents, and what will she do when the thing is transferred from her custody to yours? For that matter, what are you going to do with that — that — "

"Monstrosity?" the two younger women chorused.

"Good word," he acknowledged. "So — what?"

"She does have three kids," Carolyn began.

"That thought boggles one's mind," Adam dead-panned. "How did anyone tolerate being married to her?"

"Uncle Jake was profoundly deaf from a young age. The off button on his hearing aid made day to day living tolerable for him," Jenny informed him. "They visited us, from time to time when I was little, before Uncle Jake died. He was darling, so at first Mom and Dad put up with her for his sake. Barely."

"Anyway," Carolyn picked up the narrative. "One of the sons is a preacher in his own church, he — made up his rules to remedy what he saw wrong in the church we're all familiar with. He's the one who asked inappropriate questions at Jack and Laura's funeral." She was silent a moment. "Muriel does not speak to anyone in the family, period. Margot is just as bats as her mother. She'll likely be the next victim, either her or Jake Jr. She moves between the two of them, going from project to project. Now that Junior's kids are grown, they might be victims as well."

"Poor things," Candy said. "Now, Blackie comes to dinner once a week or so — since Thom remembers what his fridge looks like. When he came to see us last, he and Dash sat around speculating on what you might do with IT."

"Go on," her mother prompted.

"One, deep-six it. Dash figures that between them, all the — guys — could transport it far out over the ocean. Two, give it to Dakota for a bed. Thom has mandated it will not come home for BJ. Dash seconds the motion that it not. Third, a couch burning party. Fourth..."

"You really got into it, Sis," Jenny marveled. "None of the suggestions should involve Amberly. She cannot play on it."

"We would never do that to a baby, much less this sweet girl," Candy smiled. "Can I hold her, later?"

After Jenny nodded, Candy went on, "Fourth, Claymore never met anything free he didn't like, so let him have it. Dash suggested for Christmas, but you'd have to put up with it for too long and Blackie thinks that such a holy day should not be marred by such a hideous gift. Fifth, call it modern art and send it to a museum."

"Impressive list, very imaginative," Carolyn said, toasting her daughter with a wink. "Claymore might be a good idea. I don't think Deke would take it, and it'd be a shame for it to go through his antiquing process after all this trouble."

"Do you think it will get finished?" Jenny asked.

"Daniel implied he had an idea on how to speed things along — or maybe he was talking about..." Carolyn trailed off.

"What?" Adam asked, peering at her with sharp eyes. "Please, don't say 'nothing'."

"Dave told me, too," Jenny whispered.

"What?" Candy echoed.

Carolyn told them about the nanny ad. "So, it sounds like Jess' subbing run might be terminated," she concluded.

"Blast," Adam spat before he could think. Then, backed off a bit, "I know that Dr. Lynne really enjoys having her sister around. And the two guys, Thomas and Blackie, do enjoy THEIR aunt."

"And she is a good friend to us all," Candy agreed with a bit of a giggle.

"It's not smart to laugh at your boss, young lady," Adam warned. "Besides, I know where all kinds of little girl pictures of you are to show Thom. With — paint on your nose or your first and only poodle perm from one summer."

"Well, Daniel was talking about her at the same time — so maybe he knows a way to keep her here," Carolyn cut in.

"Do I hear my name being taken in vain?" a teasing tone asked from behind her, as a hand came to rest on each of her shoulders.

Carolyn half-turned. "Daniel..."

"Don't worry," he said in a voice just enough over a whisper to be heard by the group at the table. "I appeared in a clear area and walked over. And — Dotty thinks Sean is me — he's keeping an eye on things while I — buy a new phone."

"Isn't our _phone_ good enough for her?" Carolyn asked, stunned.

The ghost chuckled, taking a seat on the edge of a chair that appeared conveniently for him. "Probably not, but — well — Claymore called..."

"Daniel, attacking the phone won't hurt him, except perhaps his ears," Adam advised.

After giving the amused lawyer the evil eye, Daniel went on, "He apparently was begging to be allowed to not come back until we are guest free — I can not be completely certain, however. Dakota made a pass through the room in which I was, at top speed, hit the phone cord and unplugged it. As she kept going, the phone flew off the table and is in multiple pieces. I am considering getting her a tranquilizer, too."

"Why not get a whole bottle for that — that — " Jenny suggested, then pressed her lips together. "Candy, hold Amberly, cover her ears, please."

When Candy had the little girl's ears covered, Jenny finished, "Gritch."

"Gritch?" Daniel asked.

"Grinch and a word that rhymes with witch combined," Jenny flushed. "I'm trying not to call anyone anything — I don't know when she might start picking up words. But — sometimes — "

"It can't be helped," the Captain agreed. "I will keep that in mind." A frown crossed his face. "That gives me an idea; Jenny, how many made-up words do you have?"

She looked puzzled as she shrugged. "I don't know. Not as many as Tolkien. He invented at least a half-dozen. There's a few non-word words in** Star Wars**..."

Candy added, "Blackie's invented a few words to say things he wants to say, but thinks he shouldn't. We heard quite a few the other night when Dotty was the topic of conversation."

"Did I tell you Dotty made Blackwood curse the other day?" Carolyn asked.

All eyes turned to her. "You're kidding," Candy goggled. "Great wall-eyed sharks!"

"The woman is a menace. She's corrupting saints and regressing innocent animals," Adam declared. "Furthermore, I'm tired of not being able to speak freely at Gull Cottage." Everyone nodded as he looked at the Captain squarely. "She needs to go."

"I second that," Candy affirmed.

"It's unanimous, dear girl," Daniel said. "However..." His words trailed off as his eyes turned to his wife.

"Any debt my father owed her is surely cancelled by now," Carolyn shook her head. "If it's not, she can go pester him and Mother. I can't take much more. And my writing has suffered."

Daniel grinned. "Consider her gone before the week ends. I can rely on any help you all can provide?"

The girls looked uneasy at the thought of dealing with the battle-axe even once more, but nodded. Adam shrugged and agreed as well.

"Good, now — "

"I'll get a phone," Carolyn interrupted. "And Dakota's happy pills. You go and tell Claymore that nothing is wrong."

"What?"

"He heard the phone call be cut off in the middle, right? He'll fret."

"My dear, you credit him with too much charity," Daniel intoned. Her face was implacable. "Very well. He might be of some value in this endeavor."

XXX

Claymore would have run right into his uncle if Daniel hadn't come into the office immaterially. As it was, neither wanted to repeat the incident. Claymore walked through Daniel just as he appeared. It was not a pleasant feeling for either.

After they both shuddered, the miser, a bit awkwardly stammered, "I-I-I — was on — my way to Gull Cottage — you hung up on me, but maybe you didn't, because no one answered the phone when I called back... and I wish you wouldn't do that."

Somehow, Daniel followed the rambling. "Were you concerned?"

"Uh — er — just a little. I wasn't sure, you know, if you were being — you — rude. That could have been it. So, I decided that you wouldn't hurt me too much if — if Mrs. M — er — your wife's aunt was there — and — was going to come see which it was — if you were rude or — "

"The phone was — put out of order, suddenly," Daniel explained, cutting off the dithering before he could go insane listening to it. "Not by me, however. The dog has become rather — unruly, of late."

"Can you blame her?" Claymore asked, for once right on target. "I'd get distempered if I had to live with — with that — that — sea hag."

Daniel didn't bother to correct him on the distemper comment. In essence, the little man was accurate. "No, I cannot. However, I believe the camel's back has been snapped. To avoid being unduly — rude — I have a plan to ease her out of the home, posthaste. It will take some strategy. That is where you come in."

"Why are you avoiding it now? Just keelhaul her or throw her overboard," Claymore protested. "I don't want to be involved."

_Abraham, Isacc, Jacob, Judah, Perez_... Daniel counted for patience. "Claymore, she is old. She might become a spirit if I do that — and then you'd have even more ghosts running around." His "nephew" blanched. "I need someone she wants to play a game with, and that would be — you. Don't worry, I have it all planned out..."

XXX

The day proceeded after that with a sense of anticipation. Perhaps Dotty knew something was up; her quota of unpleasant remarks rose by the hour. First, she sniped about how often Daniel and Carolyn left the house or holed up in another room. She had come all this way to see her family, and now they were avoiding her! Then, when Daniel was, ostensibly in his office working, but was actually elsewhere working on his plans, Dotty laid into Carolyn about did she think it wise to marry another handsome man? She should have learned her lesson with Bobby. Of course, perhaps she had. There were certainly enough other handsome men in and out, whether or not Daniel was there. If Carolyn hadn't known her husband was doing something to get rid of the GRITCH, she'd have put a new skeleton in the cellar.

Right on time, Claymore arrived for dinner. For the first time that day, Dotty smiled with genuine pleasure. "We'll play Scrabble tonight — and you will learn to respect your betters," she cackled.

The nervous man grabbed his "uncle's" sleeve. "I need a drink," he stammered, "of — of — water..."

"Right this way, Claymore," Daniel sighed, leading him to the kitchen, leaving Carolyn alone with her aunt. When they were there, he asked, "What's wrong?"

"I — I'm no good at Scrabble."

"You don't have to be — you're going to play Nonsense Scrabble," Daniel informed him.

"Wh — what's that?" Claymore asked warily. "I can't learn a new game that fast."

"It uses fake words, and really — just play it by ear. Jenny and Candy made a list for you," Daniel explained. "Here," he took out a piece of paper. "Read this and memorize it. Now, come along."

"What are these?" Claymore frowned.

"Klingon, Galactic Standard, Sindarin, and Quenya," Daniel replied matter-of-factly. "Plus a few made up English words." He did not add that the list had been made with the thought in mind that while Claymore did have a fine imagination, it was directed solely in the for profit area.

"And I'm supposed to learn all this in two minutes? Come on, Uncle D — er — Captain. I can't possibly — I'm not you! Couldn't one of your little ghost buddies — "

"Damp down — she's not deaf!" Daniel hissed.

"Your you-know-what friends pretend to be me?" Claymore asked in a furious whisper.

That stopped Daniel. Why hadn't he thought of that? Blast. Finally, he settled on, "Who could be you better than you? Besides, you are here now."

"That's true," Claymore sighed.

XXX

After the dishes were cleared, Daniel spoke up, "You know, there is a variant of Scrabble that only a true master plays. Would anyone be interested in giving it a go?"

"Daniel, darling, as good as you are, is that fair?" Carolyn scolded.

"What's that?" Dotty asked.

"The- Fizbac one," Daniel smoothly replied. "Only those with a truly adept lexicon and logic system ever attempt to play."

Dotty scowled. "Haven't heard of it."

"Well, it is only for masters," Claymore piped up.

"YOU know it?" Dotty asked, rounding on him.

"Kinda," Claymore stammered.

"Yes, it's rather like the more complex card games in that it requires a triple 'deck' of letters at the least, but not to worry, I've rounded up an ample supply of tiles," Daniel cheerfully went on. "Claymore, come with me to get the table and so on set up."

"Y — ye — aye, aye, sir," the little man agreed, backing away from the table.

When they were in the supply room getting folding chairs together, Claymore whined, "I really don't think I can pull it off, sir. I can't remember all those words."

Daniel set his burden down to look at his 'nephew' with the proverbial cold, beady stare. "Claymore, first off, you do not need to remember them all, for two reasons. Have you ever watched **Star Trek?** We will be playing Scrabble in the way that Captain Kirk played cards on the gangster episode. Just follow my lead. For the second reason... Siegfried."

The Englishman popped in on cue. "Landsman Matthews, reporting for duty, sir," he chuckled.

"Oh — you're going to be — me, aren't you!" Claymore beamed in relief.

"Don't be silly," the Captain chided. "Siegfried is going to stand beside you and remind you of words if you get in a jam."

"RightifyouseemstuckI'lljust — "

"Siegfried," Daniel said before Claymore could, "speak slowly. He's not the one we're trying to drive up a wall."

"This time, you mean," Claymore intoned darkly.

"True," Daniel allowed.

"I will endeavor to do so," Siegfried agreed. "Let the games begin. I have barely met the woman and I'm sick of her. Ruining a perfectly good dog as she has, indeed!"

Two visible and one invisible man returned to the living room to assemble the playing field. That done, the women joined them.

"Ladies go first," Daniel began. "Since Carolyn is the expert, it would make the most sense for her to start."

"I guess," Dotty grumbled.

Without blinking, Carolyn arranged her tiles to spell out STANG.

"Challenge, that's not a word," Dotty barked.

"Of course it is," Claymore jumped in when Siegfried poked him. "I — I had a stang of a time getting un-lost when — I got lost."

"And it's a double word score too," Daniel added, peering at the board.

"Why? She's nowhere near any of the double word spaces," Dotty argued.

"But it is the opening move on the first game of the ninth month, albeit late in the month."

"Very late — why it's the cusp of the tenth month," Carolyn nodded.

"So — that's triple, right?" Claymore suggested.

"By Jove, you are right!" Daniel declared.

"You calling me right is a miracle — does that get me any extra points?"

"No, but it does let you move next," Daniel nodded.

Studying his tiles for a long moment, Claymore finally settled on making SINDAR off of the S in STANG.

"That's what Blackie is supposed to have, right?" he asked.

"No, if you define it wrong, that removes ten points — however since you did make the word off of the triple letter one, you do get half of her points added to yours so it balances," Daniel replied thoughtfully. "Sindar is a type of elf."

"That's not the way the game is played," Dotty fumed.

"Contradicting the game-master gets fifteen points taken from you — but you haven't even scored yet — so that's double negativity," Daniel warned. "And you forfeit your turn. So, it is now mine. Hmm." Deliberately, he set down TQM. "A type of prank-loving seaman, noted for getting others lost."

"YES they are!" Claymore yelped. "Blasted — "

"Claymore, slander could lose you fifty points," Carolyn admonished.

"Oh, I forgot."

"It's your turn now, Clay," Carolyn smiled.

"Isn't it hers?" Dotty asked.

"No, the order reverses when the most recent person to enter the house has on a tweed suit," Daniel smiled placidly.

For the next hour, the game took baffling turns, depending on if someone sneezed, what word was used last, the day of the week, or any other minor detail that could be used. Words such as NOY, SABACC, YUZZEM, SITH, QUERENYA, GRITCH, BZITCH, ROHRIN, TORLOC, and a few dozen others from fantasy novels, mangled English and pure imagination popped up. Points were deducted for real words, sending Dotty further in the hole, especially once Claymore "recalled" that being in the hole meant interest points were charged.

After an hour, the "fire aunt," rose, sweeping the tiles to the floor. "I've never encountered such utter nonsense in all my life. If you can't play properly, then I'm — I'm going to bed. I'm far too upset to work on YOUR couch any longer tonight."

Without even saying good night, she stormed out.

The moment she was gone, the room was filled with ghosts. Out of habit, Claymore let out a strangled noise.

"Good one. That would have been triple points," Tristan noted calmly. "Have fun, my friends."

"Just where do you think you are going?" Siegfried demanded.

"To make sure it stays asleep all night," Tristan replied in a tone that implied, _what else could it be?_

"Tristan, remember what we discussed," Daniel asked.

"I still say she deserves a truly terrible nightmare," the young man pouted.

"It might wake her, son. Though I do agree. Just make sure she hears nothing and believes what we agreed."

"Wh — what are you up to?" Claymore asked as the ghost disappeared.

"We'll be finishing up this — project — so she'll have to leave," Molly replied as she surveyed the work already done.

"And we can have peace again," Dash added.

No one could dispute that assertion.

"Claymore, you might as well go on home," Daniel instructed. He hesitated, then added, "Thank you."

"What did I do?" Claymore asked in befuddlement. He'd like to know if it was repeatable.

"You helped us confuse and infuriate her so that she'd go to bed early, and we can get to work," Daniel explained as patiently as possible. With his new basis of comparison established, Claymore was not nearly as irritating as he'd been three weeks ago.

"Oh," Claymore nodded, pondering this revelation. "Well, I don't think I can do that again."

"We do hope you won't have to," Carolyn agreed.

When Claymore was well on his way, Carolyn kissed her husband good night and retired. She'd be no help to the spirits, after all.

XXX

The crew worked throughout the night. Halfway through, Siegfried and Tristan traded off roles, since Tristan did know how to sew from his years at sea, while Siegfried had never really had any need of it.

Carolyn was a little bit disappointed they had all left by the time she arose in the morning, but she was confident that things would return to the way they had been soon, and she'd have ghosts all over the place as themselves once more. Daniel refused to open the living room door until Dotty joined them.

Finally, around nine, Dotty clumped into the kitchen. She was frowning. "I had the weirdest dream — you — and you and that little weedy fellow were all playing the strangest game of Scrabble with me. It was — a nightmare."

"Now, don't you know you should not tell a dream before breakfast, unless you want it to come true?" Daniel asked.

"Silly, superstitious claptrap," Dotty snorted. "Well, I finished the couch, stayed up half the night. So, come take a look."

Suppressing a grin, the Greggs followed her to the living room.

"And KEEP that mutt out of here. I did not work so hard on that couch to have her get dog hair all over it!" Dotty ordered before throwing open the door.

The finished sofa looked actually quite nice, after having six ghosts in total work on it from nine at night until three a.m., and Carolyn said so, circumspectly. "It — I can tell a lot of work and — love was put into it," she said tactfully, sliding her eyes over to Daniel. What she said was true, Daniel, Sean, Dash, Tristan, Molly, and Siegfried had put a lot of work in... and love for their family having a peaceful, happy, home, sans stowaways who tried to pilot the ship.

"Yes. The care and work are readily apparent," he nodded briskly.

"Glad you finally admit it," Dotty sniffed. "Now, Dan, I want you to go fetch my bags, I'm leaving."

That took them aback a bit. "Now? Before breakfast?" Carolyn asked.

"I would have been out an hour ago, but I had to pack," Dotty said in a tone that implied_ you should have realized that, idiot_. "So, hop to it.

"Certainly," Daniel nodded, exiting rapidly before his wide grin was seen.

"Let me get you your toast and tea," Carolyn offered. She was going to have to do something nice for the Matthews brothers. They had gone over and above in the dream department, it sounded like.

As the last bag was stowed, Dotty added, "And — I have reached a decision. I want that couch. You obviously would not appreciate it, just as you have not appreciated anything I have done for you. So, summon those — those men of yours, Lyn, and have it loaded on my trailer."

Carolyn blinked. True, she did not want it. Not even for a dog bed for Dakota. Still, they had put up with that — that — WOMAN for nearly a week, a terrible week, and she could have done that in her own blasted home!

While Carolyn processed this and found the politest words she could manage without choking, Daniel came up the walk. He'd heard this exchange and spoke up then. In a dry tone, he answered for her, "No need of that, dear Aunt Dotty. It's there."

"How..." Dotty could not conceal her astonishment.

"That would be my secret," Daniel replied.

And so, the ordeal came to an end.

Was the noise heard over Schooner Bay as the jalopy drove out of sight thunder, or thunderous cheering from the ghosts who loved Mrs. Gregg?


End file.
